Cosmo Peres
';| Kramer | Peres |
|---|---|
| Tries to solve the world’s problems by inventing a bladder system for storing oil in tankers | Tries to solve the world’s problems by trying to appease Israel’s enemies |
| Once celebrated Festivus | Recently celebrated his 8oth birthday |
| Is nuts | Thinks that Jerusalem should be made capital of the world, with the UN Secretary-General as mayor, and that Arafat deserved his Nobel peace prize |
| Is friends with a fat guy called Newman | Is friends with a fat guy called Sharon |
| Women find him irresistable | Kathleen Turner called him “the sexiest man alive” |
| Is scared of clowns | Is a clown |
| Was part of a show that quit while it was ahead | Should have quit while he was ahead |
| Overstays his welcome | Has overstayed his welcome |
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