Martyr, Martyr on the Wall, Who’s the Ugliest One of All?
Aussie Dave | Jun 01, 2005 | 4 comments
The recent Miss Universe contest got me thinking about beauty pageants … beauty … how fugly all of the terrorists are (see how my train of thought normally ends up at the same place?) If you ask me, they should follow the example of their followers and cover their faces, just to spare us having to look at their ugly mugs.
Don’t believe me? Well, I’ve compiled a profile of all of the contestants in the World’s Ugliest Terrorist contest.
Name: Abu Hamza
Nickname: Captain Hook, Hookie, ****wit
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews, wiping himself after going to the toilet (problem solved), his fellow prisoners
Distinguishing features: Hook hand, one eye
Name: Mahmud al-Zahar
Nickname: The Wart, The Combover, Dum ham (his name backwards), ****face
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews
Distinguishing features: Wart/mole on nose, bad combover
Name: Abu Faraj al-Libbi
Nickname: Ol’ black-eyes, Libbi, Libbi-race, ****tard
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews
Distinguishing features: Bags under his eyes big enough to pack your luggage in, plucked eyebrows
Name: Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
Nickname: Chewie, woolly mammoth, furbag, porcupine, George ‘The Animal’ Steele, ****head
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews
Distinguishing features: Hair, hair everywhere
Name: Osama bin Laden
Nickname: Wherezi bin Hidin, ****face
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews
Distinguishing features: Long nose
Name: Abu Bakar Bashir
Nickname: Beaver, ****tard
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews
Distinguishing features: Bad teeth, constipated look on his face
Name: Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah
Nickname: Nazi rally,****wit
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews
Distinguishing features: Bad teeth, constipated look on his face
Name: Yasser Arafat
Likes: Murdering innocent people
Dislikes: Jews
Distinguishing features: Long nose, beedy eyes, safari suit, constant shaking, dead
Who do you think is the ugliest?
The recent Miss Universe contest got me thinking about beauty pageants … beauty … how fugly all of the terrorists are (see how my train of thought normally ends up at the same place?) If you ask me, they should follow the example of their followers and cover their faces, just to spare us having to look at their ugly mugs.
Don’t believe me? Well, I’ve compiled a profile of all of the contestants in the World’s Ugliest Terrorist contest.
About the Author
An Australian immigrant to Israel, Aussie Dave has been blogging since early 2003.Filed Under: General
It’s a tough choice for the ugliest but I know which one’s the prettiest!
Shy Guy
Actually, Osama Bin Laden is a very handsome man (imagine an embarassed smiley for actually daring to say this out loud)
What a great idea for a novelty toilet roll.
Ya I agree, Osama Binladen was kind of handsome and good looking