Baby Cruise

A big congratulations to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, on the birth of their daughter.

No, they have not named her Xenu. In fact, it seems that they chose a name one would expect from an adherent of Scientology’s cult rival – (celebrity) Kabbalah.

The girl, named Suri, came into the world at 7 pounds, 7 ounces and 20 inches long. Her name has its origins in Hebrew, meaning “princess,” or in Persian, meaning “red rose,” Robinson said in a statement.

I guess Hebrew names are all the rage amongst the celebrity set these days. But I’m not entirely sure it is Hebrew and means “princess.” I have never heard the name Suri before, although it does seem that there are Jewish women in the world with this name. But this does not preclude the possibility that they are Jewish women from Iran (Persia), and it is a Persian name only. There is a Hebrew name Sur (usually spelt Tzur), which means “Rock.” The name Suri would therefore mean “my rock” in Hebrew, and not “princess.”

But enough about the name. What I want to know is whether Cruise did what he threatened to do and actually ate the placenta.

Update: The answer is no, Tom Cruise is a laugh-a-minute.

But did Tom really eat the placenta? After telling GQ magazine he was ready to “eat the cord and the placenta right there”, he later revealed that he was only joking. The card.

Update: I have a theory that the name is Scientology-based. Here’s my theory: The letters S-U-R-I are part of the surname “Cruise”. If you take S-U-R-I out of C-R-U-I-S-E, you end up with the letters C and E. 

Now, the letters C and E are part of the word “placenta”. If you take the letters C and E out of P-L-A-C-E-N-T-A, you end up with “planta.” Now rearrange the letters and you end up with “planat”. Which sounds like “planet.”

7 thoughts on “Baby Cruise”

  1. Sarah or Sarai would have been a foundation for the word “princess”.

    Suri? Sounds like a Yiddish form of Sarah, similar to “Sruli” being a Yiddish nickname for “Yisrael”.

    Shy Guy

  2. I think the translation actually makes sence. Today we use “Sar” for “minister”, but this word is also the progenitor of “Tsar”, “Ceasar”, “Keisar”, e.t.c.

  3. Hey Dave! Hilarious post! 🙂 You are a funny guy.

    So with regards to the name Suri. Perhaps they are trying to do a variation on the name Sari which indeed means princess (Sari aka Sarah)

  4. Now that we’ve determined that the child’s name is Yiddish, the parents will need similar names. May I suggest Tumah and Kittel?

    Shy Guy

  5. My name is Sara, everyone calls me sari though and I always understood it to be coming from the hebrew word Sar which is minister or prince, sara being the female version. Its definitely hebrew.

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