Israellycool

Our latest weapon has been discovered: the Zionist Death DIME.^TM

This report has been triggered by the warning launched in mid-july by some doctors of Gaza hospitals, who, for the first time, have treated inexplicable wounds which, in at least 62 cases, have caused the amputation of a lower limb. The doctors have often asked the help of the international community in order to understand the causes of these strange wounds which presented small fragments, often invisible to x-rays and inexplicable excisions caused by heat in lower limbs.

Several articles have appeared on national and international newpapers.

After a long research, the investigation team of Rai News 24 has identified the possible cause of these effects: it seems a new weapon dropped by unmanned drones, which is precisely teleguided to the target.

The weapon, according to the military magazine “Defence Tech”, is called DIME which means “Dense Inert Metal Esplosive“*. It is a carbon shell that when it goes off breaks into small splinters. At the same time, there is the explosion of a charge which shoots a blade of tungsten dust charged with energy which burns and destroys everything in the radius of four meters with a really precise slant.

This technology is part of a new kind of “low lethality” weapons which downside collateral damages and restrain lethal effects.

(hat tip: Concerned UCI Student)

* As an “esplosive”, DIME is triggered via ESP. The IDF are able to “communicate” with the weapon, enabling precise results.

Toward the end of the performance I attended, I heard one man choking back sobs and another snoring. I could sympathize with both responses.

Reuters have finally worked out a way they can get away with publishing fake photos.

Reuters, the international news agency, has opened a virtual news bureau in Second Life, the massively popular online game.

Second Life is a game where players are able to create animated characters, also known as avatars, and live in a massive virtual world, where they can buy property, socialise with other players, and work to earn virtual currency. Unlike many online role-paying games, it is not set in a futuristic or mythological world - it actually aims to resemble reality as much as possible.

More than one million inhabitants of the virtual world will now be able to access a website that will give them news related to real life and life within the game. People in the real world will be able to access it too, allowing them to find out what is happening within Second Life.

A Reuters correspondent will act as the bureau chief, and will appear as an avatar within the game. Adam Pasick, or Adam Reuters as he will be known, will track down the stories and file news copy much like he would in his real life role as a London-based media correspondent for the news agency.

“There are so many interesting questions about how a virtual world behaves. There is a lot of reporting to do where the virtual world meets the real world,” Pasick said in an interview with Reuters.

Update: Was it that obvious a joke?

6:00AM: Morning prayers, live from the Sheikh ‘Ijlin Mosque in Gaza City

Those pesky undead are at it again.

You might have thought yesterday was the perfect day for sunbathing but others preferred lurching and moaning through the streets of Wellington.

Dozens of people indulged their usually hidden zombie sides, spattering themselves with fake blood and marching “against the living” to mark Friday the 13th.

Organiser Robbie Neilson said it was first time the event had been held in New Zealand, though it had been done overseas. “We’d like to make it annual.”

The idea came from the internet, had been discussed among a group of friends and gradually grew. “We couldn’t not do it.”

Mr Neilson was pleasantly surprised by the number of “undead” who showed up.

“There was a lot of enthusiasm for it. It was a wide range of people from all over.”

It’s of course not the first time a bunch of lifeless people, who can’t think for themselves, have taken to the streets to protest against those who choose life over death.

Update: Surprisingly, Zombie was not at this particular protest.

Actor Alec Baldwin tries to pass a police cordon near the site where a small aircraft crashed into a high-rise building in New York, October 11, 2006. (Chip East/Reuters)

“Let me through! I have to get to the crash site and retrieve my career.”

Introducing the palestinian’s latest weapon: the Kim Jong-il Explosive Belt.

Either that, or someone at the Jerusalem Post needs to pull their finger out.

“We also have proofs that the Jews were responsible for Hurricane Katrina and were also behind killing all the dinosaurs.”