Israellycool

The body of a French Jew who was kidnapped and tortured to death last year by a gang seeking ransom will be taken to Israel for burial.

 

Ilan Halimi will be flown to Israel and buried in Jerusalem’s Givat Shaul cemetery Feb. 9.

 

The Halimi family, led by Ilan’s mother Ruth, will accompany the body to Israel, along with David Roche, Paris head of the Jewish Agency for Israel, and European Jewish Congress President Pierre Besnainou, who helped arrange the burial.

 

Halimi’s murder in early 2006 allegedly was committed by a youth gang calling itself the Barbarians.

 

French Jews were convinced that Halimi was kidnapped and tortured to death over a three-week period because he was Jewish, but many Gallic French people believed Halimi’s religion had nothing to do with the case and that government officials labelled it an anti-Semitic crime only to placate Jewish community leaders ‚Äî despite the fact that gang members reportedly admitted during the investigation that they hate Jews and kidnapped Halimi because they thought all Jews were rich.

 

Gang members are in jail awaiting trial.

Some things are just so wrong.

I guess Michael Jackson has not converted to Islam after all…well, not yet anyway.

Jermaine Jackson said on Monday he wants his brother Michael to convert to Islam; and he believes the reclusive superstar has given it serious thought.

“Michael, I feel, needs to become a Muslim because I think it’s a great protection for him from all the things that he’s been attacked with, which are false,” said the former Jackson Five singer who now lives in Bahrain.

“There’s a strength and protection there,” Jackson told BBC Asian Newtwork after finishing runner-up to Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty in the “Celebrity Big Brother” TV reality show that was marred by accusations of racist bullying.

Jackson said he believed his brother had given conversion “serious thought” during long spells in Bahrain.

“I was the reason why he had gone there because I wanted him to get out of America and just go somewhere it’s peaceful and quiet and people pray five times a day which is beautiful.”

Michael Jackson was acquitted of child molestation charges in June 2005.

He has said he plans to move to Europe in a bid to resurrect his musical career as the “King of Pop” and has indicated he will release a new album in 2007.

Jermaine Jackson said his faith helped keep him sane in the enclosed confines of the British reality TV program where the contestants are kept cooped up under 24-hour surveillance.

“If I didn’t have Allah and my prayer rug, I would not have survived and the reason why is because it kept me focused, it kept me calm,” he said.

If Jacko does convert, I am willing to bet he will become an Islamic fundamentalist:

See below for updates

A palestinian suicide bomber has murdered two people after blowing himself up in an Eilat bakery.

“We were sitting and drinking coffee some five meters from the site….Suddenly we heard a large explosion and I immediately thought that it was a suicide bomber.

“When we went outside we saw that the place had been destroyed and there were body parts everywhere..”

“It was awful - there was smoke, pieces of flesh all over the place,” he said.

 

He told Israel Radio that he saw “a man with a black coat and a bag. For Eilat, where it is hot, it is strange to see someone walking with a coat. I said to myself, ‘Why is this idiot dressed that way?’ Seconds later, I heard a huge blast. The building shook.”

Investigations into Monday morning’s suicide bombing in Eilat, the first to strike Israel’s southernmost city, indicated that the 21-year-old bomber (Muhammed Faisal al-Saksak, a resident of the Gaza Strip and member of the Fatah-affiliated Aksa Martyrs Brigades) may not have intended to detonate his explosives pack in a bakery, but planned to execute the attack in a more crowded area.

 

According to reports by security sources, at least two local residents had spotted Saksak, whose heavy coat and large bag aroused their suspicions, and called the police. Channel 2 reported that one of the people who alerted local police was the taxi driver who took Saksak into town.

 

Saksak, who appeared to have stopped at the bakery for coffee before reaching his final destination, blew himself up after he saw the police cars approaching.

“We knew that he was going to carry out a martyrdom operation,” Saqsaq’s brother, Naeem, told reporters at the family home in the northern Gaza Strip. “His mother and father prayed for him to succeed.”

Meanwhile, the Islamic Jihad, which claimed responsibility for the attack together with two other groups, posted a statement on its Web site Monday saying that it had engineered the bombing in an attempt to “focus Palestinians’ attention away from killing each other,” Sky News reported.

8:55PM: This from an email sent to me earlier today:

It is 3.00pm Israel time and I have just watched CNN cover the Eilat bombing.

1) The reporter made 2 comments to reduce the effect of the tragedy.

First, he said that although this was the first bombing for nearly a year, since mid 2006 nearly 700 Palestinians have been killed by Israelis. No mention of Kassams etc.

Then, CNN led immediately in to a story on the cluster bombs issue - where Israel may well have used the bombs in a manner that violated agreements with the USA.

2) But compare this reporting to the next item on CNN. A suicide bomber in Pakistan killed a policeman. No qualifications. No additions. Straight reporting.

From what I have heard from other people, this is typical of what has happened on other channels.

9:17PM: Further to the previous update, the Sydney Morning Herald have done the same thing.

Yesterday’s attack ends a long period of quiet within Israel. According to the Israeli human rights group B’tshelem, killings of Israeli citizens in the occupied territories and Israel reached a low of 23 last year, including six soldiers. In the same period the number of Palestinians killed by Israeli forces rose to 660, B’tshelem found, half of them non-combatants and 141 of these minors.

9:25PM: The most disgraceful headline of the day comes courtesy of the Associated Press: Suicide bombing kills 4 in Israel

In case you don’t get it, the “4″ are the 3 innocent victims plus the 1 terrorist who snuffed out their lives.

Today’s Jew:

• Is a successful British Pop and R&B singer, selling over 13 million albums worldwide
• Can count Elton John as a fan (Elton has been quoted as saying “If there is a better singer in England than [today's mystery Jew], then I am Margaret Thatcher.”
• Is also a favorite of Usher, Quincy Jones, Beyonce and P. Diddy
• Has a music video that is a parody of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
• Has a little blue hat that he believes brings him luck

And the mystery Jew is…

An Israeli promotional campaign involving balloons caused panic among Lebanese civilians Saturday when the wind carried them over the border into southern Lebanon.

 

The Lebanese media reported that some civilians were hospitalized after inhaling the gas in the balloons.

 

However, the photographs published on the Web site of Hezbollah’s TV station Al-Manar show green balloons from a promotional campaign for Ha’ir, a Schocken group newspaper.

 

Lebanese sources said the balloons reached the southern Lebanese cities of Nabatiyeh and Tyre, and the Lebanese army warned civilians not to touch them. Some were brought to Italian UN troops for examination.

 

Lebanon’s official news agency claimed that they were “poisoned balloons” dispersed by IDF aircraft.

Via Harry, I have discovered this blog about Black Zionists who supposedly support Israel.

According to the site, we can count on support from the likes of Sean “Puff Daddy”/Diddy/Whatever He Calls Himself These Days, Magic Johnson (”It has come to our attention that Magic Johnson is a huge supporter of Israel. BZ sources tell us that this causes some problems with his Hollywood Liberal friends - but magic says he will deal with that when he has to. Keep Fighting Magic!”), Mike Tyson (”Mike Tyson has urged his fans to buy Israeli Bonds and to support candidates who are strong supporters of Israel.”), Mr T (”Mr T has visited the west bank countless times and said he does not view the west bank as occupied territories - to him this is Israel he says!”), and Condoleeza Rice.

This sounds about as kosher as a steak on Hulk Hogan’s BBQ*  I mean, the only type of bond Mike Tyson would be familar with is a bond for good behavior. And Condi Rice?

I pity the fool who believes any of this. But feel free to prove me wrong.

* sorry, but I can’t resist getting mileage out of this. 

..that today is Australia Day.

And in case you are wondering why I chose the above picture, I ask you: what better way to recognize Australia Day, support a good cause, and continue the recent duck theme on this blog?

And speaking of ducks, there were a few of those today as we showed the English who’s boss.

Happy Australia Day!

Try explaining this to the Hulkster.

The producer of an all-Israeli porn flick is under attack from rabbis who say his use of a food-certification symbol ain’t kosher.

Yesterday, Tight Fit Productions of Van Nuys, Calif., the purveyors of “Assraelis,” which was shot entirely in Israel with all-local talent, and in Hebrew (with, uh, English subtitles), received a cease-and-desist order letter from a lawyer representing Rabbi Yehuda Rosenbaum of KOF-K Kosher Certification, a New Jersey company that puts its stamp of approval on Kosher goods. Tight Fit’s DVD-cover claim of Israeli authenticity is accompanied by a Hebrew letter normally reserved for rabbi-ordained meats, grains, and other foodstuffs.

KOF-K’s lawyer says that Tight Fit is using the symbol “illegally” in violation of State and Federal Law, and plans to sue “if the situation is not rectified as quickly as possible.” Oren Cohen, the owner of Tight Fit, finds the action “funny,” but will modify the cover art before the film’s release next week — to satisfy what he calls the “very nice” rabbis.

Well done, Oren Cohen, for trying your darndest to undo the good work being done by all of those great Israelis and Jews out there, actually trying to better humanity. Your parents must be proud..no, really.

Indeed, agreed Oren Cohen, president of Van Nuys’ Tight Fit Productions. Though the heavily-tattooed former chef, a third-generation pornographer, has plenty of uncomplimentary things to say about his industry, he still grins about the awards.

Sad.

Here’s my favorite joke. Ever.

A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks the clerk, “Got any duck food?”
“No”, says the clerk, “we don’t sell duck food.”
“OK”, says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and aks “Got any duck food?”
The clerk once again replies, “No, like I told you, we don’t sell duck food.”
“OK”, says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and asks “Got any duck food?”
The clerk says “Hey look, I told you two times already that we don’t sell duck food!”
“OK”, says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and says “Got any duck food?”
This time the clerk yells “We don’t sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!”
“OK”, says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and says “Got any nails?”
“No”, says the confused clerk.
The duck says, “Good, got any duck food?”

Your turn.

Update: I am going overseas on business for  the week, so posting may be sporadic. Therefore, please make sure we at least have some good jokes to keep us going…

Update: Speaking about duck food:

Neither gunfire nor two days in a refrigerator could slay this duck.

When the wife of the hunter who shot it opened the refrigerator door, the duck lifted its head, giving her a scare.

The man’s wife “was going to check on the refrigerator because it hadn’t been working right and when she opened the door, it looked up at her,” said Laina Whipple, a receptionist at Killearn Animal Hospital. “She freaked out and told the daughter to take it to the hospital right then and there.”

The 1-pound female ring-neck ended up at Goose Creek Wildlife Sanctuary, where it has been treated since Tuesday for wounds to its wing and leg.

Sanctuary veterinarian David Hale said it has about a 75 percent chance of survival, but probably won’t ever be well enough to be released back into the wild.

He said the duck, which has a low metabolism, could have survived in a big enough refrigerator, especially if the door was opened and closed several times. And he said he understands how the hunter thought the duck was dead.

“This duck is very passive,” Hale said. “It’s not like trying to pick up a Muscovy at Lake Ella, where you put your life in your hands.”

Leave your entries in the comments.

(Picture taken from Simply Jews, who took it from somewhere else)

Thanks to some groundbreaking investigative work from Israellycool friend and fellow blogger NeoZionoid, we have evidence of Ha’aretz getting all Jerusalem Postie on us.

As Neo posts:

The Winograd Committee may have Halutz by the short and curlies, but now it is for everyone to see.

Seems to me like Ha’aretz have already demoted the outgoing IDF Chief of Staff to Private.