Bum Scare
What an arsehole.
An Iraqi national wearing wires and concealing a magnet inside his rectum triggered a security scare at Los Angeles International Airport on Tuesday but officials said he posed no apparent threat.The man, identified by law enforcement officials as Fadhel al-Maliki, 35, set off an alarm during passenger screening at the airport early on Tuesday morning.A police bomb squad was called to examine what was deemed a suspicious item found during a body cavity search of the man. Local media reports said a magnet was found in his rectum.
“He was secreting these items in a body cavity and that was a great concern because there were also some electric wires associated with that body cavity,” Larry Fetters, security director for the Transportation Security
Maliki, 35, who lives in Atlantic City, New Jersey, was preparing to board a US Airways flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia.The flight left without Maliki but with his luggage aboard. It made an unscheduled landing in Las Vegas, where the plane was thoroughly searched but nothing was found, officials said.
Passengers were not evacuated and no flights were disrupted by the incident at Terminal One at Los Angeles airport.“There never was a threat,” Fetter said.He said police and the FBI were called in from “an abundance of caution” because Maliki was “so bizarre in his behavior.”
I’m just surprised the bomb sniffing dogs weren’t called in.
Update: The Top 5 Excuses For Having a Magnet Inside Your Rectum
5. “I have a bad case of hemorrhoids, and I couldn’t afford a real doctor.”
4. “You mean to say that you don’t have one of those inside there?”
3. “I wanted to see how long it would take to attract attention.”
2. “Ahhh, that’s where it is. I’ve been looking for that for over a week!”
1. “I fell over and landed on it. It was a million to one shot,.. million to one.”
Update: I wouldn’t sink so low as to make the obvious LAXative joke.
About the Author
An Australian immigrant to Israel, Aussie Dave has been blogging since early 2003.Filed Under: General



“Probing” security … heh.
No-risk dry runs t see what they can get away with.
I guess it’s not possible to figure out what the hell he was thinking. That story veers all over the place for me – from icky, to worrying to insanely bizarre.
6. I’m training for my next gay porn audition