Israellycool

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It’s take-off time.

A former NASA astronaut accused of assaulting a romantic rival at a Florida airport can take off her electronic tracking bracelet while she awaits trial, a judge ruled Thursday.

Attorneys for former astronaut Lisa Nowak said her ankle bracelet was uncomfortable and inconvenient.

She has reportedly also been advised that she can take off her diaper as well, which was also starting to feel uncomfortable and inconvenient.

 Now this is just too funny.

In the world of international diplomacy, the best chosen words or phrases can leave an audience laughing, bewildered or simply lost in translation, if the experience of Australia’s former top diplomat is any guide.

A new book by Richard Woolcott, who ran Australia’s foreign service for four years, points to the pitfalls of translating thoughts into different languages.

Take the Australian diplomat in France who tried to tell his French audience that as he looked back on his career, it was divided in two parts, with dull postings before life in Paris.

“When I look at my backside, I find it is divided into two parts,” Woolcott quotes the diplomat as telling his highly amused audience.

Extracts from Woolcott’s book, Undiplomatic Activities, have been published in the latest Bulletin magazine, although the book has yet to be formally launched.

Woolcott recalled a speech he gave on a visit to Palembang shortly after he had arrived on a posting in Indonesia.

“Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of my wife and myself, I want to say how delighted we are to be in Palembang,” he said in English. The interpreter said something entirely different.

“Ladies and gentlemen, on top of my wife, I am delighted to be in Palembang.”

Woolcott said former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke left his Japanese audience bewildered when he used the Australian colloquial phrase “I am not here to play funny buggers” to dismiss a trivial and pesky question from Japanese lawmakers.

“For Japanese interpreters, however, this was a real problem. They went into a huddle to consult on the best way to render ‘funny buggers’ into Japanese,” Woolcott wrote.

The interpreters told him they had then told the audience: “I am not here to play laughing homosexuals with you”.

Australia’s Labor Party leader Kevin Rudd is regarded as a master of Mandarin. But his language skills were far from perfect as a young diplomat in 1984, when he interpreted his ambassador’s speech on the close relationship enjoyed by Australia and China.

“Australia and China are enjoying simultaneous orgasms in their relationship,” Woolcott quoted Rudd as telling the audience in Mandarin.

Woolcott said the best interpretations sometimes involved no translation at all, such as the unnamed Asian minister who told a long joke at a banquet in Seoul.

“The Korean interpreter was lost, but did not show it. He uttered a few sentences and the audience laughed and applauded,” Woolcott wrote.

After later being complimented on his translating skills, the interpreter confessed to the real reason for the laughter.

“Frankly, minister, I did not understand your joke so I said in Korean that the minister has told his obligatory joke, would you all please laugh heartily and applaud.”

Rule #17: When marching, do not swing your arms so as to strike the person behind you.

Rule #18: If struck by the arm of the person marching in front of you, keep looking ahead as if nothing has happened. Full vengeance may be obtained only after the ceremony.

Chutzpah is attacking a country and then trying to claim damages after attacked country defends itself.

Hezbollah is planning to file a host of lawsuits against Israel over the damages it caused during the Second Lebanon War. Lebanese individuals with dual citizenship will file the suits in the countries where they hold citizenship.

Attorney Ibrahim Awada, who heads Hezbollah’s legal department, revealed the plan last week on a Syrian television program devoted to “Zionist crimes against Lebanon.” He said that each plaintiff will hire a lawyer in the country where he files suit, and Hezbollah will pay the lawyers’ fees.

The Lebanese government began mulling lawsuits against Israel immediately after the war ended last summer, but was stymied by the fact that United Nations Security Council Resolution 1701, which ended the war, blamed Hezbollah, rather than Israel, for its outbreak. The government therefore set up a legal committee to explore more limited options, such as suits specifically over Israel’s use of cluster bombs and destruction of infrastructure.

However, Hezbollah was furious that the government has so far done nothing, and therefore decided to launch its own lawsuit blitz, using private individuals.

Update: As this commenter at Jihad Watch states, Jihad takes many forms.

The ISM, which claims to be “committed to resisting the Israeli occupation of Palestinian land using nonviolent, direct-action methods and principles,” has reacted to the actions of the PA police officers who saved the life of the IDF officer who mistakenly entered Jenin.

Needless to say, they do not praise the officers for saving the life of a human being, but rather sympathize with those who are disappointed they did not get a chance to lynch him.

Humanism or Collaboration? Palestinian Police Saves Israeli Soldier In Jenin

In the early afternoon the Palestinian security forces returned an Israeli soldier who is understood to have become lost in the streets of Jenin.

At about 1.30 pm a single Israeli soldier, coming from Nasser street, entered the city center of Jenin. Eye witnesses reported that he was driving a civilian car, but because of his uniform it didn’t take long to expose his identity.

While his car entered the central square at Masjad al-Kabir, rumors about his presence started to spread across the city and caused a flood of Palestinians to surge in the direction of the Israeli soldier.

During this time, two Palestinian police cars stopped the Israeli soldier and accompanied him to the governmental compound of Jenin, the Muqata’a.

Some Palestinians reported that the Israeli soldier was injured by stone throwers and that some Palestinians managed to steal his M16 rifle. While this information could not be confirmed by either police or any other sources, it is sure that, after the soldier was taken away, his car was set on fire.

The DCO was informed about the mistaken solider and a few minutes later four Israeli jeeps arrived at the Muqata’a, where the Israeli soldier was handed over by Palestinian security forces .

At this, about 100 Palestinians gathered in front of the Muqata’a and some kids sought to express their anger by throwing stones at the Palestinian police. The police responded by throwing a number of sound bombs in their directions in an attempt to disperse the crowd.

Although the Palestinian police perhaps saved a life today, many Palestinians expressed their huge frustration and anger regarding this incident. The anger was further compounded and aggrieved by the fact that the saving of the Israeli soldier came only two days following the cruel assassination of two local residents by Israeli military forces.

A new movie by the name of Balls of Fury, which has nothing to do with this.

According to Fark, this is “The best mugshot you’ll see today of a man busted for disorderly conduct.”

I beg to differ..

Update: Comment of the day on the first mugshot, courtesy of a Fark commenter.

Charges lessened to disorderly eyeballs.

Terrorism expert Dr Boaz Ganor, and American Idol winner/singer Taylor Hicks.

Ha’aretz reports on today’s Olmert-Abbas meeting.

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas held one-on-one talks Tuesday on the three issues that are at the heart of a final status agreement - borders for a Palestinian state, the future of Jerusalem and the right of return of Palestinian refugees to Israel.

I would like to address the palestinian refugee issue, since it incenses me every time it is brought up, not to mention our lame response/lack of response.

Around 820,000-850,000 Jews were either expelled from, or were otherwise forced to leave Arab countries after the 1948 War of Independence, a war started after the 5 Arab armies attacked the newly established State of Israel. Of these Jewish refugees, approximately 590,000-600,000 were absorbed into Israel, leaving behind their homes, businesses and possessions without receiving any compensation.

The War of Independence also produced some Arab refugees, totaling somewhere between 430,000-650,000. The vast majority of these refugees (approximately 68%) left without even seeing an Israeli soldier, but rather at the beckoning of the invading Arab armies, who were certain of a quick victory.

The Arab refugee figures were inflated by UNRWA’s relief rolls since it was impossible to distinguish between a genuine refugee from nomadic bedouins and unemployed local residents. Not only that, but UNRWA adopted an unbelievably broad definition of “refugee”, which included those who lived in “Palestine” a minimum of only two years preceding 1948, as well as descendants of these “refugees.” This is why the number of registered palestinian refugees is now well over 4 million.

When looking at the lower refugee figures (and ignoring the facts that the majority of Arab refugees were self-created, as well as the fact that even these Arab figures included recent (1946-1948) residents, as mentioned above), for every Arab refugee there was more than one Jewish refugee. Not only that, but the number of Jewish refugees absorbed by Israel is almost exactly the same as the number of displaced Arab refugees. In other words, an exchange of populations has taken place - approximately 600,000 Jewish refugees from Arab lands have been resettled in Israel, and approximately 600,000 Arabs from Israel have moved elsewhere (mostly to refugee camps, thanks to their Arab brethren and UNRWA, who have kept them there for 60 years!) .

So from my point of view, it is clear that the only just solution is for the Arab refugees to be absorbed into the Arab countries, rather than being kept in refugee camps as a pawn in the war against Israel. As for talk of compensation, Jewish refugees left behind assets in the Arab countries of greater worth than the Arab assets left behind in Israel, so if any side has a claim, it is us.

This is a brief summary of the facts behind the so-called refugee issue. I could write more, but I would instead encourage you all to read the fabulous Joan Peters book From Time Immemorial. After reading that, you will likely also be scratching your head as to why the Israeli government have not answered the so-called palestinian refugee and “right-of-return” issues with the facts as outlined above.

Further reading:

Jewish Refugees from Arab Countries - The American Sephardi Federation

The Palestinians - Netanyahu.org (including The 1948 Palestinian Refugees - Whose Responsibility)

The Forgotten Narrative: Jewish Refugees from Arab Countries - Avi Beker

Hollywood star Owen Wilson’s reported suicide attempt is definitely no laughing matter, but one has to marvel at this headline from Talk Entertainment.

Yes, I am guessing not being dead after a rumored suicide would constitute being in good condition, all things considered.

In any event, here’s hoping he finds some inner peace and makes a full recovery.

An IDF officer today mistakenly entered a palestinian town, and almost got lynched for his troubles.

Luckily for him (and unlike in the case of the October 2000 events in Ramallah), palestinian policemen helped save him from the lynch mob, rather than joining it.

An IDF officer was rescued Monday afternoon by Palestinian Authority police officers after he mistakenly entered Jenin.

The officer, a major serving in the army’s Central Command, was on his way to the Mevo Dotan settlement in the northern West Bank but accidentally drove into Jenin, located seven miles northeast of the settlement.

Local Palestinian residents who noticed the officer driving into the city hurled rocks at his car, forced him out and began beating him.

A Palestinian policeman spotted the angry mob and called for backup. The security officers struggled to reach the battered officer and several shots were apparently fired before they managed to extract him from the crowd moments before his vehicle was set aflame.

The officer was then taken to the Jenin Muqataa compound to contact the IDF and afterwards to the Jalame security crossing north of Jenin and into Israel.

The officer was not in need of medical attention and was later taken for questioning. He said was driving without a firearm but the matter is being investigated as the Palestinian police said they confiscated the major’s weapon.

Needless to say, palestinians were furious they did not get a chance to murder the officer.

Shortly after the incident the Islamic Jihad angrily accused the PA Preventive Security forces of thwarting an attempt by the organization to kidnap the officer in the heart of Jenin.

“After taking control of the officer our fighters were surprised to see the Preventive Security closing in on them and taking the uniformed soldier. Within minutes four Israeli military jeeps arrived and the Israelis were given the officer by the Preventive Security.

“The Palestinian security forces must defend our fighters and the Palestinian people from the weapons of the occupation, not defend the soldiers of the occupation from the weapons of the resistance,” said the group in a statement issued later in the afternoon.

And while the palestinian police deserve credit for saving the officer, don’t be under illusions as to why they did it.

“The soldier erred and when the Palestinian Authority officials noticed this they did their duty, picked him up and transferred him to the District Coordination and Liaison office,” said Salah Basur, deputy commander of the Preventive Security forces in Jenin.

He rejected the claims of Islamic Jihad and said the officers acted in the best interest of the Palestinian people.

Not because it was the moral thing to do. And if the “best interests of the palestinian people” dictated that the IDF officer be taught a lesson for entering Jenin, you can bet we would have had a repeat of October 2000.

Update: You have to love this. Ma’an news reports why the mob burned the Israel officer’s car - and it has nothing to do with the fact they wanted to murder him.

One of the enraged citizens said that the arson attack was a display of anger for the assassination of two Palestinians and the injury of four others by the Israeli forces in Jenin two days ago.

Update: Even the kiddies got involved in the near lynching car abuse.

A Palestinian boy jumps atop of a burnt vehicle in the West Bank city of Jenin, August 27, 2007. An Israeli soldier who took a wrong turn into Jenin on Monday was returned unharmed by Palestinian security forces loyal to President Mahmoud Abbas in a new sign of cooperation with Israel. A crowd in the city overturned and torched the soldier’s abandoned car. (Mohamad Torokman/Reuters)

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, and the Death Star