Israellycool » Laurence Simon http://www.israellycool.com Down Under Punditry in the Middle East Fri, 25 May 2012 14:21:45 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 How to Convince Your Wife, Girlfriend, or Mistress to Get Breast Implantshttp://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/15/how-to-convince-your-wife-girlfriend-or-mistress-to-get-breast-implants/ http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/15/how-to-convince-your-wife-girlfriend-or-mistress-to-get-breast-implants/#comments Tue, 15 Aug 2006 21:23:30 +0000 Laurence Simon http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/15/how-to-convince-your-wife-girlfriend-or-mistress-to-get-breast-implants/ “In a terrorist attack, they may just save your life.”

An Israeli woman’s breast implants saved her life when she was wounded in a Hizbollah rocket attack during Israel’s war with the Lebanese group, a hospital spokesman said Tuesday. Doctors found shrapnel embedded in the silicone implants, just inches from the 24-year-old’s heart. She was saved from death,” said a spokesman for Nahariya Hospital in northern Israel. The woman has been released from hospital.

Would a saline implant have stopped the shrapnel? Keep this in mind when someone tells you that silicone’s unsafe.

]]> http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/15/how-to-convince-your-wife-girlfriend-or-mistress-to-get-breast-implants/feed/ 9 Arik’s Final Battle?http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/14/ariks-final-battle/ http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/14/ariks-final-battle/#comments Mon, 14 Aug 2006 22:39:38 +0000 Laurence Simon http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/14/ariks-final-battle/ Things are taking a turn for the worse for Ariel Sharon:

Ariel Sharon’s condition has deteriorated, according to the hospital where the ailing former Israeli prime minister is being treated. Anat Dolev, spokeswoman for the Chaim Sheba Medical Center, wouldn’t say whether Sharon’s life was in danger.

 

A new scan showed a deterioration in his brain function, his urine output has decreased significantly and a chest scan showed that he had a new infection, Dolev said.

 

Sharon, 78, has been in a coma since suffering a massive stroke Jan. 4. He underwent several extensive brain surgeries to stop cerebral hemorrhaging, in addition to more minor procedures.

]]> http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/14/ariks-final-battle/feed/ 3 Won’t Get Fooled Againhttp://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/10/wont-get-fooled-again/ http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/10/wont-get-fooled-again/#comments Thu, 10 Aug 2006 21:58:00 +0000 Laurence Simon http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/10/wont-get-fooled-again/
Yesterday, I posted Nasrallah’s call for Israeli Arabs to clear out of Haifa so he wouldn’t kill them with his minions raining missiles down them on a constant basis.

 

You know, almost sixty years ago, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem and countless Arab and Islamic leaders called for the non-Jewish residents of the Palestine Mandate to leave their homes so they could conduct their all-out genocidal campaign against the fledgling State of Israel.

 

Their descendants aren’t as easily fooled:

Former Knesset Member and Haifa resident Issam Mahoul on Wednesday categorically rejected Hizbullah chief Hassan Nasrallah’s callto Arab residents of Haifa to evacuate the city.

 

“We have nothing to do outside of Haifa, and we have no reason to panic. The Palestinian people are especially unwilling to be refugees of any kind again,” Mahoul told Ynet.

Anybody hearing “Won’t get fooled again” by The Who in their mind?

 

The fact that a former Minister of the Israeli Knesset would identify himself as “Palestinian” is another issue entirely.

 

Or is it?

]]> http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/10/wont-get-fooled-again/feed/ 4 Here we go again…http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/09/here-we-go-again/ http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/09/here-we-go-again/#comments Thu, 10 Aug 2006 01:59:25 +0000 Laurence Simon http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/09/here-we-go-again/ When have we heard this before?
Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah on Wednesday

warned all Israeli Arabs to leave the port city of Haifa so his

guerrilla organization could step up attacks without fear of shedding

the blood of fellow Muslims.

“I have a special message to the

Arabs of Haifa, to your martyrs and to your wounded. I call you to

leave this city. I hope you do this. … Please leave so we don’t shed

your blood, which is our blood.”

Is he’s trying to make his own Nabka to parallel the voluntary flight of thousands of Palestinians in 1948 and 1967 at the command of various deranged and bloodthirsty Islamic leaders?

I think he owns a stake in Israeli-Arab moving companies and just wants to drum up more business.

]]> http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/09/here-we-go-again/feed/ 3 Let The Animals Livehttp://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/08/let-the-animals-live/ http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/08/let-the-animals-live/#comments Wed, 09 Aug 2006 01:43:00 +0000 Laurence Simon http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/08/let-the-animals-live/ After posting this post about pets suffering along with civilians from Hezbollah terror attacks, a few people have asked me if I know of any charities or rescue organizations involved in saving dogs, cats, and other animals caught in the conflict between Israel and Hezbollah in Northern Israel.

Here’s one I saw on Fox News Dayside today:

Let The Animals Live a non-profit animal welfare organization, was founded in Israel in 1986 in an attempt to provide immediate aid to stray animals in distress. Rehabilitation and adoption of these abandoned animals are the goals of the organization. In addition the organization aims to educate the general public to understand and care for animals

Donations can be sent through a secure online form.

(And when they refer to Letting Animals Live, I think they don’t mean Hassan Nasrallah.)

]]> http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/08/let-the-animals-live/feed/ 10 Greetings, and a call for helphttp://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/08/greetings-and-a-call-for-help/ http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/08/greetings-and-a-call-for-help/#comments Tue, 08 Aug 2006 21:40:11 +0000 Laurence Simon http://www.israellycool.com/2006/08/08/greetings-and-a-call-for-help/ Greetings, all. Your old friend Laurence Simon. It’s good to be working with Zionaussie Dave again, bringing back fond memories of our collaboration on Arafat Is Full Of Crap.

Okay, Zionaussie Dave’s not here. But he’s here in spirit. And likely through telecommuting now and then to clean up the messes we guest-posters make.

Still, it’s a hard thing being a guest-poster on an established weblog. I mean, the temptation to pull a Michael Totten and use my temporary stage as a platform to bullhorn my own agenda is overwhelming, but somehow, I’ll resist the urge to cover this site with photos of cats.

On the other hand, there is something y’all can help me with…

You see, I’ve been running this thing called Palestinian Terrorist Bingo. It’s an offshoot of Misha’s old “Pop A Pali For Pizza where he’d call for donations to Pizza For IDF when Palestinian terrorists would get smoked by the IDF.

Since I was constantly breaking my already-empty piggy bank to keep up with the demands, I turned it into a kind of game. I’d lay out a Bingo card with assorted terrorist groups and their die-hard supporters, and then when someone from that group would get smoked, I’d mark off the square.

Five in a row makes Bingo, and that’s when folks could head to Pizza For IDF to support the troops.

This not only cuts down on the damage to my credit card, but it makes a sick game of the situation (not that I’m unfamiliar with sick games involving mortality).

It’s my little way of supporting the troops without actually making aliyah and enlisting (I’m a lousy shot with a rifle).

Anyway, I’ve slightly expanded this round’s board to include the Lebanese Front in the Global War On Terrorism being fought by the IDF, but…

I’ve still got one square open. Now, I have a group in mind for the Mystery Square, but I’d rather just be open about it.

It’s got to be a group that is a part of the overall conflict, is aligned with the terrorist side of the Global War On Terrorism more often than not, and has the potential to suffer casualties through its members conducting their day-to-day business assisting the terrorists or meddling with the affairs of the State Of Israel.

Any suggestions? Leave them in the comments.

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