Israellycool

Some good news concerning the Israeli “Mossad agents” in New Zealand.

Two alleged Mossad agents, currently serving six-month jail sentences for attempting to fraudulently obtain New Zealand passports, are handling their predicament “incredibly well.”

A senior New Zealand source told The Jerusalem Post that the two men - Uri Kelman, 30, and Eli Cara, 50 - are sharing a cell in Auckland’s tough Mt Eden jail.

They have a television set and stereo system in their cell. Both are reading voraciously and are regular users of the prison library.

He described their jail conditions as “fine” and said that both are “comfortable.”

He also said the two Israelis mix freely within the jail and appear to enjoy a special status among fellow prisoners, who include some of the toughest Maori gang members.

The source said gang leaders are at the top of the prison hierarchy, “but they defer to the Israelis,” he said.

“I don’t know whether it’s their religion or who they are supposed to be, but the Israelis are given unbelievable respect by other prisoners.”

Thus in a sad irony, Jews in New Zealand seem to be treated better in jail than outside of it.

England have found a new official jester. And no, it is not Ken Livingstone.

Nigel Roder has beaten six rivals by public acclaim to become England’s first official jester for more than 350 years, succeeding Muckle John who lost his job when King Charles 1 was beheaded in 1649.

—-

Unlike court jesters of old, Roder will be able to negotiate his salary, and his initial contract with English Heritage — to divert the public from the tedious daily grind — will run from March to October 2005.

Mr Roder apparently faced some stiff competition.

Roder - professional name Kester the Jester - juggled and diaboloed his way to victory over a diverse field that included a poetry-reading Frenchwoman in the contest near Warwick.

Needless to say, the Frenchwoman did not win. After all, the aim of a jester is to divert the public from the tedious daily grind, and not remind them of it.

And to those of you who aren’t taking this seriously:

“This is a real job. He will have to amuse and provoke — although failure to do so will no longer risk beheading,” Tracy Borman, events director of English Heritage, told Reuters on Saturday.

But who knows? Perhaps this custom will return as well.

The Jerusalem Post is carrying this AP story today:

Report: Saudis arrest kingdom’s top terrorist

Saudi police reportedly arrested the kingdom’s most wanted terrorist on Thursday, according to pan-Arab satellite TV station Al-Arabiya.

The Saudi-owned station reported late Thursday that police captured Faris Ahmed Jamaan al-Showeel al-Zahrani in Abha, a town 800 kilometers (497 miles) southwest of the capital, Riyadh.

Saudi Arabia’s top terrorist? And what is Osama bin Laden..chopped liver?

Come to think of it, I wish he was.

..goes to this man:

A migrant worker from Myanmar cut off his penis on Friday after drinking himself into a rage when his wife refused him sex, Thai police said.

Po Dong, 29, a dock worker at the Thai port of Samut Prakan, attempted intercourse with his wife, Kate, on Thursday night.

When she refused he stayed up all night drinking whiskey and made another attempt on Friday, Samut Prakan Police Major Narong Simsawat said.

When this attempt at intimacy also was rebuffed, Po Dong flew into a rage and severed his penis with a pair of scissors. He then cut the severed member into several pieces and stabbed himself in the stomach while screaming abuse at his wife.

He was reported in serious but stable condition on Friday afternoon.

Oh, my mistake. I thought it said No Dong.

(Hat tip: Aaron)

There is excitement in Israeli blogger land, as plans are already under way for an English-speaking Israeli blogger bash, to be held some time in late August - early September.

If you are an English-speaking Israeli blogger who did not already know about this, click here and join the group. There is a poll to decide when and where the meet-up will take place.

I am personally excited about meeting people who share their thoughts with me over the net, and some of whom read what I have to say. It is weird to think that we are meeting for the first time. Will it feel like we already know each other? Will the bloggers be as I imagine from reading their blogs, or are their blogs representative of a more outgoing version of their true selves? Will they find me to be as obnoxious as they probably think I am from reading my blog? I promise to be on my best behaviour!

Maybe it is because I have been watching way too much reality tv lately, but it feels a bit like a reality tv show where a group of strangers are placed in a situation together. Perhaps it will be more like The Bachelor, where one man has to pick between numerous eligible admirers.

In any event, it should be a great experience. And since I also qualify as an Australian blogger, I also look forward to meeting up with the Perth/Aussie bloggers when I return to Australia to visit my folks (perhaps early next year).

Everyone from Michele to Allah is having fun with this corny picture. I feel left out, so here’s my contribution.

“If you think these are large, you should see the ones on my feet.”

Saddam’s spawn Raghad Hussein (Yes, that is her real name. And no, I will not make the obvious spelling error) has conducted an interview with an Israeli journalist. In it, she reveals that she has inherited many of her father’s qualities.

Like lack of remorse:

“My only request is that my father get a fair trial”, Raghad Hussein, daughter of deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussen, told Israeli journalist Dafna Barak in an interview published today by the London based Arabic-language daily al-Sharq al-Awsat.

—-

Raghad also praised her two brothers, Udai and Kusai, who were killed by US forces about a year ago in Mosul. She said that her younger sister Hala has yet to recover from their death. “They fought till the last moment. I am proud of them”.

She told Barak, “I cannot answer personal or political questions. I am the daughter of Saddam. You wouldn’t understand. I have a commitment since I carry his name and he needs my help now. After the death of my brothers, I am the only who can do it. My friends expect me to help him”.

A deluded sense of reality:

“I am proud of my father’s appearance in court…He’s a brave hero.”

And a virulent anti-Zionist anti-Semitic attitude:

Raghad complained to Barak that her father’s lawyers were requesting exorbitant fees, and she expressed a desire to hire an American lawyer. Barak then suggested a few names, one of them Jewish-sounding. “Excellent, but he’s Jewish”, responded Saddam’s daughter. “You must understand that my father would never allow it. I don’t judge people, but I cannot cooperate with Jews“.

Except Israeli journalists?

AP reports:

A couple returning home from a Costa Rican vacation was ejected from an American Airlines flight because the man was wearing a T-shirt depicting a bare breast.

Oscar Arela and his girlfriend were removed from Flight 952 on Saturday after he refused to change the shirt or turn it inside out at Miami International Airport.

The irony is that the man would have had a better chance of being on the flight had he been of Middle Eastern appearance, and wearing a t-shirt with “I love Bin Laden” written on it.

(AP)

Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, center, salutes as he stands next to university professors after a ceremony to grant him a Honorary Doctorate of Al-Quds University at his compound in the West Bank town of Ramallah, Sunday, Aug. 1, 2004.

Now he can truly be referred to as “Dr” Evil.

Update: You don’t believe me? Well how about this for an uncanny resemblance (AP):

“Anyway, the laser is powerful enough to destroy every city on the planet at will. We’ll turn the moon into what I like to call a ‘Death Star’”.

Nicolas Cage has apparently married a former sushi waitress.

Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage has married for the third time.

The “Leaving Las Vegas” star wed 20-year-old Alice Kim on Friday at a private ceremony on a ranch in Northern California, publicist Annett Wolf told The Associated Press.

It is the third wedding for Cage, 40, who split with his previous wife Lisa Marie Presley after less than four months in 2002.

Before that, he was married for six years to actress Patricia Arquette.

Kim, a former sushi waitress, met Cage when the actor visited the Los Angeles restaurant where she worked. This is her first marriage.

Life imitating art?

Perth Hitler wannabe Jack van Tongeren is following the course of so many of history’s self-proclaimed heroes, by showing what a coward he is.

White supremacist Jack van Tongeren may be hiding in an underground bunker as police hunt him over an alleged plot to harm leading public figures.

Police intensified the hunt for van Tongeren following a raid last week on a house believed to be occasionally occupied by the Australian Nationalist Movement leader in Gingin, 90km northeast of Perth.

It is understood police now believe van Tongeren, a Vietnam veteran, could be hiding in a bunker.

Hiding in a bunker? Sounds familiar. If we are lucky, he will decide to end up the same way as his hero.

Shmuley Boteach really wants to help people in need of relationship advice…as long as they will help his ratings.

Rabbi Shmuley has launched a new relationship segment to his daily radio show and is looking to help people in need of relationship advice. Send your relationship question by e-mail to shmuley@shmuley.com along with a phone number if you’re prepared to discuss it on the air, so Rabbi Shmuley’s producer can give you a call and have you on the show. You can also call (toll free) 866-572-7746.

Here is my advice to those in need of relationship help. Contact this Rabbi. He will help you, without airing your dirty laundry for all and sundry. And by all accounts, he does not have an unhealthy obsession with Michael Jackson.