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Roseanne Barr continues to cry for mental help on her blog, with her recent attention venom being turned to Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

In her latest post dedicated to Palin, Barr lets it be known she would like to kill her.

palin is perfect

for the republicans’ very first ever woman candidate! She has warped ethics, little concern for her family, and likes to draw down on endangered species from a helicopter, steal publicly owned property, and say anything she is paid enough to say.

She is an insult to american women. I would like to challenge sarah palin to a gun dual (sic) in a target practice setting!! I can shoot 100 times more accurately than she can, I just know it!

Perhaps, but Palin would have a much larger target to aim at.

Update: Reader Joseph thinks Barr is challenging Palin to a competition involving paper targets (rather than each other). I am still not sure.

Update: I’ve read it a few more times, and even consulted with the missus. I may have missed the mark on this one.

Meanwhile, here’s a joke Barr deemed fit to post twice.

What’s the difference between a pit bull and the now-famous hockey mom from the RNC?

One’s a vicious, jacked-up bitch that likes to kill animals,

The other one is a dog.

Some things are just wrong.

Michael Jackson is reportedly dating Pamela Anderson.

Pop legend Michael, 50, has met former Baywatch star Pammy, 41, for two dates in Malibu, California, sparking rumours the pair are enjoying a budding romance.

A source told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper: “It was all arranged by their people in total secrecy, very cloak and dagger.

More like cloak and scalpel.

Alec Baldwin being Alec Baldwin:

Baldwin, 50, says he’s “entering that Clinton phase” where young women tell him, “In spite of the fact that you don’t look like a young leading man anymore, I’d quite like to throw you down on this blanket right now.”

He’s no doubt leaving out the part about taking the blanket and trying to smother him with it.

A few days ago I blogged about Roseanne Barr’s scathing attack on fellow celebrity Jon Voight.

Well, Jon’s not going to take it lying down. Here’s his response:

Burn!

Update: The insane one responds on her blob blog:

Jon Voight’s words about me, where he totally blames the victim, as all right wingers always do:
“We can never be surprised at what vile evil comes from the mouth of a confessed victim of child abuse”

“Confessed victims of child abuse”….like “confessed criminals, confessed rapists, and confessed child abusers and confessed murderers” this sick and twisted statement sits happily on the front page of EXTRA on line… I guess the people at EXTRA agree that children who are being abused should keep their mouths shut! “confessing” (telling the authorities) that you are abused makes you vile and evil! warner brothers should be ashamed of themselves.

Highly unstable celebrity Roseanne Barr, a known hater of Israel and conservatives, has launched a scathing attack on fellow celebrity Jon Voight - replete with anti-Semitic undertones.

jon voight

is a frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu, who acts like Obama just wandered in from the rain forest with a bone thru his nose and a communist pamphlet in his loincloth. The neocons who own jon voight and make him dance on the chabad telethons are the worst most elitist people on earth. glen beck and jon voight are their bitches… both of them are used tampons who must be flushed down the toilet immediately! jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more. (just sayin’).
Also miss jolie says she likes mccain too and hasn’t decided who to endorse….huh? Aren’t you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party’s worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan? whaaaa…??????!!!! (for that matter, the thai and cambodian sons you are photo’d with weekly too who’s pictures you sell to raise money to help the poor? Their families are victims of America’s right wing military incursions too. Mccain wants to continue with the idea of war for profit…the americans are over that thinking now! They have drugged our troops and lower classes into supporting their oil business atrocities for long enough. We want to save not lose our souls thank you. Now go back to making your movies about women who love to handle big guns that shoot hundreds of people to death. Ps….it might be good for your asian and african children’s self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world.)

For those who hadn’t realized it, neocons is a code word for Jews (update: yes, I know this is not always necessarily the case, but here, it is. The giveaway is Barr’s reference to “neocons who own jon voight and make him dance on the chabad telethons.” Chabad is one of the largest Hasidic movements in Orthodox Judaism).

This rather inarticulate attack has gained the attention of the mainstream media. But instead of reporting it as an attack on Voight - as Barr’s post title even suggests - the majority of the mainstream media are reporting this as an attack on Voight’s daughter Angelina Jolie and her hubby Brad Pitt.

I’m guessing they are shifting the focus because it makes for a juicier story. Although the thought did cross my mind that the mainstream media would likely be sympathetic towards Barr for her attack on the conservative, pro-Israel Voight.

Plenty of non-Jewish men have converted to Judaism to be with the Jewish woman they love.

Not so many Hollywood actresses. But the times, they-are-a-changing.

It’s no shtick—Lindsay Lohan is converting to Judaism.

And apparently, her family is taking the news very well.

“As long as she believes in God,” says her father, Michael Lohan, a self-proclaimed born-again Christian who raised Lindsay in the Catholic faith.

Lindsay told family and friends she decided to convert after learning about the Jewish religion from her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson. Sam’s family is Jewish and is said to be supportive of Lindsay’s move.

Still, Lindsay’s father is skeptical Linds will stick with it.

“She’s exploring right now,” he says. “She’s explored the Church of Scientology, she tried Kabbalah, and now this. I think it’s just another phase. But either way, she’s involving God in her life, and I’m happy about that.”

For those who are interested, I’m filing this in the Too Horrible To Contemplate folder.

Apparently, there are things that even William Shatner won’t do:

William Shatner sat in a drab office staring at a TV monitor displaying a message he was supposed to read to a fan while signing an autograph, but Star Trek’s Captain Kirk wasn’t very happy.

“I can’t do this, this is crazy,” Shatner said.

The message on screen – which was submitted by the fan – was just too odd. But as an investor and partner in Live Autographs, a new video service in which celebrities appear on camera to deliver a personalized greeting as they sign an autograph, Shatner had to say something.

“Are you nuts? You want me to say, ‘When I’m smoking and sipping whiskey with Allen’ – who’s Allen? – ‘I’m secretly thinking of you and your dog?’

“I can’t say that,” Shatner added, glaring into the camera, his words dripping the trademark irony he has summoned in countless TV performances, including his Emmy-winning role as Denny Crane on the courtroom drama Boston Legal.

Here’s a reminder of what he will do:

Australian actor George Lazenby - considered to be the “Jimmy Carter” of James Bonds (i.e the worst) - might just also be the “Mel Gibson” of James Bonds, if his soon-to-be-ex-wife Pam Shriver is to be believed.

Pam Shriver says Australian 007 George Lazenby is an abusive alcoholic who gave beer to their toddlers and threatened to kill her.

The Grand Slam doubles champion also alleged in court documents that Lazenby assaulted her during drunken rages and often scared their three young children with his temper.

She alleges he once launched an anti-semitic attack against senior Israeli government officials who were dining in the same swanky Los Angeles restaurant.

Hollywood actor Rob Schneider has been in Israel this week, shooting a video for a song to be featured in the You Don’t Mess With The Zohan DVD bonus features (hat tip: Israelity).

The song, “Poontachat”, was written and performed by Ido Mosseri, who plays Zohan’s friend Oori in the Adam Sandler hit. It was recorded in LA about a year ago, when Mosseri was busy shooting the movie. Now Mosseri is back in Israel, co-starring in the local stage revival of “Fiddler on the Roof”, and working as the voice talent on the latest “SpongeBob SquarePants” season (he is the voice of SpongeBob in Hebrew).

“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” has become a huge hit in Israel, selling nearly 200,000 tickets so far, and outperforming “Iron Man” and “Indiana Jones”.

Meanwhile, I just realized I have never seen Rob Schneider wear anything but a Hawaiian shirt.

“We’re not all about eating hummus, killing Arabs and fornicating. We do other things as well.”

-Amir Kaminer, movie critic for the Yediot Ahronot daily, on the new Adam Sandler movie You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

Did he just concede that Israelis eat hummus, kill Arabs and fornicate?!

Over two years ago, in a post entitled Nice Jewish Girl, I posted how Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow was getting back to her Jewish roots.

Gwyneth Paltrow has started taking her Jewish roots seriously after missing out on two years of fasting during the religion’s high holy days.

The actress was pregnant with baby Apple in 2003 and breastfeeding her daughter in 2004, so she made sure she honoured Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur in style in 2005.

And Paltrow plans to pay tribute to her ancestors every year from now on.

Now, as blogger Debbie Schlussel shows, she isn’t doing a very good job. Unless she was descended from Neturei Karta.

(thanks to Shy Guy for the heads up).

Hollywood director/producer/writer/all round moneymaking machine George Lucas believes Obama is A New Hope.

George Lucas has created legendary film heroes like Luke Skywalker and Indiana Jones, but the US director says that in real life, his hero is Barack Obama.

Lucas was in Japan on Wednesday to promote his latest film, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” as Obama clinched the Democratic Party’s nomination for president.

“We have a hero in the making back in the United States today because we have a new candidate for president of the United States, Barack Obama,” Lucas said when asked who his childhood heroes were.

Obama, “for all of us that have dreams and hope, is a hero,” Lucas said.

Lucas is the creator of the blockbuster “Star Wars” series, as well as the adventures of the swashbuckling archaeologist Indiana Jones, played by Harrison Ford.

Obama on Tuesday sealed the Democratic contest after a marathon battle with Hillary Clinton, becoming the first black White House candidate nominated by a major party.

Which is ironic, considering Obama’s reluctance to use the force.

Update: Still on the subject of anti-white sermons and Star Wars (language warning).