Israellycool

Down Under Punditry in the Middle East

Rachel Corrie - The Lyrics

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

My blog had some excitement yesterday, as a Free Gaza moonbat named Anis threatened to sue me for my song parody of his Free Gaza absurdity that Dave blogged about here. I responded to Anis thusly:

I’m considering a parody of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Richard Cory” as “Rachel Corrie,” calling her an idiot and a tool of terrorists. Would that pass your muster or would you try to find a reason to take that one down as well? Just wondering what your definition of “free speech” includes, Anis!

His response was “This is your level.” I think he meant it as an insult.

Anyway, the idea stayed in my head, so this morning I wrote the song:

I hired Rachel Corrie to help bring Israel down
She was young, she was stupid, didn’t know her way around
She was the perfect patsy, do anything I asked
But even I didn’t know how well she’d perform her last task

Yes I – recruit peacenik wannabes
And I brainwash them for terror
Teach them to hate Israelis
And I wish they all could be
Oh I wish they all could be
Yes I wish they all could be
Rachel Corries.

“Peace and terror are the same” is the lesson that I taught
I told her that the underdog was right no matter what
Killing Jews in Israel is demanded by my god
The ISM is just another arm of my jihad

Yes I – recruit peacenik wannabes
And I brainwash them for terror
Teach them to hate Israelis
And I wish they all could be
Oh I wish they all could be
Yes I wish they all could be
Rachel Corries.

She learned to hate America, the freedom made her gag
She was thinking she was peaceful as she burned her country’s flag
The bulldozer came slowly but I’m glad she hadn’t fled
As good as Corrie was in life, she’s worth much more when she’s dead

And now she’s a propaganda factory
Her death has been the best thing since the SS Liberty
And I’m glad she didn’t flee
Her death was a victory
And I wish I had ninety
Rachel Corries!

If anyone wants to sing and record this, I will be happy to make an appropriate accompanying video.

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Tags: humor, ISM, moonbats, Rachel Corrie, song parody

Light Relief

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

For a good chuckle, check out the 12 worst fitness inventions of all time, featuring such classics as The Dumbbell Cane, Prostate-Gland Warmer, and The Twister (”We’re stunned that a man named Chubby could even have inadvertently spawned an exercise craze”).

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Tags: fitness, humor

Separated at Birth: Evil Edition

Saturday, June 28th, 2008

Islamic Jihad leader Sheikh Khaled el-Batsh shows his connection to Evil.

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Tags: Dr Evil, humor, Islamic Jihad, Separated at Birth, Sheikh Khaled el-Batsh

Caption This

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

My contribution:

The Queen meets the world gurning champion, and gives a look not seen since she met US President George Bush last year.

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Tags: gurning, humor, Photograph, Queen Elizabeth

Evil Zionist Pigs Get Smarter

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

Ma’an continues to ludicrously claim that settlers from Ariel have been releasing wild pigs to harass Palestinian Arabs.

But now the pigs are getting smarter:

Herds of wild pigs dumped in the outskirts of the West Bank city of Salfit by residents of the nearby Ariel Israeli settlement, are preventing civilians from leaving their homes in the evening, for fear of being attacked.

Eyewitnesses from the Al-Freiz neighborhood near the settlement said that in the evening after the sunset prayer the pigs attack gardens.

Not only do the pigs know to attack only Arabs, but they know when the exact prayer times are!

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Tags: humor, Palestinian, pigs

Why Did the Palestinian Chicken Cross the Road?

Friday, May 30th, 2008

When I saw this AP photograph, my immediate thought was “Why did the chicken cross the road?” However, it seems I was beaten to the punch by Israellycool contributor Elder of Ziyon, who is holding a caption contest.

But to answer the question, it could be simply that the bird does not fancy being killed with one stone.

Either that, or it’s on its way to a palestinian police training session.

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Tags: humor, Palestinian, Photograph

The Evil Zionist Settler Pigs Return

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

The evil Zionist settler pigs are back

Once again, Ma’an publishes this story with a straight face:

Settlers from the Ariel settlement have dumped wild pigs on Thursday in ‘Ein Al-Qabileh neighborhood south of Salfit where they smashed the farmers’ plants.

Farmer Mohammad Faleh ‘Omran said that the pigs destroyed his tomato seedlings, ruined the earth and trampled on his plants.

Farmer Mahmoud Hassan said that the pigs smashed his apple shrubs and his field at night.

He added that the farmers have killed three pigs among the large herds released by the settlers.

Yes, those Zionists have bred pigs that can distinguish between Arab and Jewish crops. They spend years raising these huge herds of pigs specifically to dump them in Arab villages when they reach just the right amount of maturity. They drive over to the Arab neighborhoods in trucks and dump them there, knowing implanting them with embedded microchips they will leave the village and make their way to Arab farms and cause damage far less than the value of the pigs themselves.

How nefarious can you be?

Previous Zionist pig sightings here, here and here. Oh, and a Zionist lion once terrorized poor Palestinian Arabs as well..

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Tags: humor, Israel

Something Different

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

1. Go here.

2. Type the name of your friend/wife/husband on the first line.

3. Type your name on the second line.

(Skip your e-mail address)

4. Click on “VISUALIZAR” and watch what happens.

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Tags: humor

Facebook in Reality

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

For the Facebookers among you.

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Tags: Facebook, humor, video

Separated at Birth: Brain Hussein Edition

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

A “Nakba” poster showing deceased dictator Saddam Hussein and The Brain

Which is quite fitting since we already know the Jihadis are trying to take over the world.

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Tags: humor, Saddam Hussein

Big Bird

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

From time to time, I enjoy browsing Hamas’ website for a bit of a chuckle.

Between it’s poor English and its special martyrs section replete with ridiculous descriptions (currently, Anees Yousif Mosa -”The patient man” - has front page billing), it’s fun for the whole family.

Ok, not quite. But it sometimes provides good grist for my mill.

Case in point: today I visited the site, and was greeted with this picture of one of their “martyrs” - Sheak (!) Salah Shahada

Big bird

Sheak Salah Shahada - “The big chicken”?

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Tags: Hamas, humor, Palestinian, terrorist