Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad predicts that an earthquake will hit the country’s capital, Tehran, and displace its 12 million residents. The cause of the catastrophic quake? Promiscuous women, reports The Guardian.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, a senior Iranian cleric, was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

Which is interesting. Because I’d have thought the earthquakes were a result of Iran straddling several fault lines. Not the kind of straddling contemplated by the cleric.

It sure brings new meaning to the expression “making the earth move.”

Update: Apparently this is an old story, so I am not sure why it is being reported again this week. I guess the dangers of promiscuous women are always relevant.

Chavez was a bad man so my initial reaction to his death – which I posted on Twitter – was:

RIP Hugo Chavez…into tiny pieces and feed him to his bird ht.ly/1T9rzv #toosoon?

— Aussie Dave (@israellycool) March 5, 2013

Harsh, I know. But it is hard for me to get upset when the world’s evil quotient diminishes.

I’m guessing he’s in a very toasty place right now, bonding with Yasser Arafat, tiger-hyena style.

And according to Chavez’s Vice President, he’s got something else in common with Arafat besides location.

From bird lover to worm food

Maduro on Tuesday wasted no time in laying blame for the executive’s deteriorating situation, suggesting he was poisoned and comparing his illness to that suffered by late Palestinian President Yasser Arafat before his death. The PA accused Israel for Arafat’s death, claiming he was killed by the Jewish state.

“We have no doubt that Commandant Chavez was attacked with this illness, we have not a single doubt,” Maduro was quoted as saying by Fox News Latino. “The established enemies of our land specifically tried to harm the health of our leader.”

He certainly puts the mad into Maduro.

And speaking of mad, here’s what Iran’s head meshugene Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had to say about his death:

The Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said Chávez would “return on resurrection day”. He said he had “no doubt that Chávez will return to Earth” along with Jesus and Imam Mahdi, the most revered figure among Shia Muslims, to help “establish peace, justice and kindness” in the world. Announcing a day of mourning, Ahmadinejad also said he believed something “suspicious” caused Chávez’s cancer.

He may have wished he didn’t.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s visit to Egypt has not gone so well, as he was lectured by a Sunni Cleric, mobbed by aggressive glad-handers, and had someone else throw a shoe at him.

There were conflicting reports about who threw the offending footwear, as a local Turkish outlet originally stated that he was “physically assaulted” by an angry Syrian citizen. Then Luke Russert said that NBC had a report of four Sunni Salafist men being arrested for the attack. Finally, a video surfaced that showed a shoe thrower not really coming that close to Ahmadinejad. It’s not quite the Iraqi journalist who launched two shoes at President George W. Bush at a press conference four years ago, but, really, everyone in this shot is probably closer than anyone should be able to get in public to a world leader with a lot of enemies:

Ahmadinejad was leaving a historic mosque in Cairo, where earlier he and Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi met with Sheikh Ahmed al-Tayeb, who runs the 1,000-year-old “seat of religious teaching.” According to Reuters, Al-Tayeb, who is Sunni Muslim, “scolded” the head of the Shiite country for interfering in other Arab states and rejected Iran’s attempt to influence matters in Sunni-majority nations.

It’s not the first time someone’s thrown their sole at this R-sole.

But if the shoe fits…

So Ahmadinejad wants to be first Iranian in space – wasn’t he just there last week? “Iran launches monkey into space” news.yahoo.com/iran-launches-…

— John McCain (@SenJohnMcCain) February 4, 2013

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said on Monday he was ready to be the first human sent into orbit by Iran’s fledgling space program, Iranian media reported.

—-

“I am ready to be the first human to be sent to space by Iranian scientists,” Ahmadinejad said on Monday, on the sidelines of an exhibition of space achievements in Tehran, according to the Mehr news agency.

“Sending living things into space is the result of Iranian efforts and the dedication of thousands of Iranian scientists.”

I’m a bit confused by this story, since I thought Iran had already sent him to space last week.

Nevertheless, if there’s a way to send him on a one-way trip, I’m all for it.

Swedish Ambassador to Iran Peter Tejler nearly caused a diplomatic incident between Stockholm and Tehran last week, when he presented his letter of accreditation to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. His offense: Exposing the sole of his shoe.

The event, which is a routine diplomatic procedure, was proceeding according to plan until, as the two were seated, the ambassador decided to cross his legs. The act seemed to have insulted the Iranian president, causing him to flash the ambassador a retaliatory leg-crossing himself.

The incident did not go unnoticed by local media. “The ambassador’s actions are undiplomatic and impolite,” an Iranian website reported, adding that “Such behavior deviates from diplomatic and international norms.”

The incident occurred last Monday at the Iranian president’s Teheran office, when the Swedish ambassador placed his right leg over his left, revealing the sole of his right shoe.

In Islam, shoes, and especially their soles, are considered impure and even profane. Exposing one’s shoes or their soles before a high-ranking official is considered a great insult.

I’m sure the Iranians will get over this slight. After all, they have much in common with the Swedes.

Update: If you could read minds, Ahmadinejad edition:

The New York Post said it was rebuffed in its attempt to hand-deliver a basket with Jewish-themed gifts to the New York hotel room of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

A Post reporter and photographer attempted to deliver the goods on Saturday night to the Warwick Hotel in Manhattan, where Ahmadinejad had checked in on Sept. 19. The Iranian leader is in New York for the United Nations General Assembly.

In response to seeing the gag gift, the Post claimed that an Iranian official at the hotel exclaimed, “You’re going to endanger my life!” at which point a U.S. Secret Service agent turned away the delivery.

Among the goodies included in the basket were Jewish food items such as Gold’s borscht, Manischewitz gefilte fish, Murray’s Sturgeon Shop whitefish and Zabar’s cream cheese. The basket also included a free ticket to the off-Broadway show “Old Jews Telling Jokes” and a brochure for the Museum of Jewish Heritage, which focuses heavily on the Holocaust. Ahmadinjad has publicly denied that the Holocaust took place.

What was he afraid of?

DUBAI- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has accused his country’s enemies of enacting a sinister plan to create a drought by somehow destroying the rain clouds before they reach Iran, several Iranian websites reported on Tuesday.

Well-known for his anti-American and anti-Israeli rhetoric, Ahmadinejad has made similar remarks before and last year accused the West of devising a plot to cause drought in the Islamic republic.

“The enemy destroys the clouds that are headed towards our country and this is a war Iran will win,” Ahmadinejad said on Monday, according to several websites including the BBC’s Persian-language site and www.snn.ir.

Iran has one of the world’s driest climates and officials have warned that a severe lack of rainfall in parts of the country has created drought-like conditions.

Diabolical! But not as sinister as Iran’s own plan to create clouds.

Meanwhile, what the story fails to mention is the ability of our weapon to not only destroy clouds, but also reshape them.

(hat tip: EoZ)

US filmmaker Sean Stone, son of Oscar-winning director Oliver Stone, converted to Islam on Tuesday in Iran, where he is making a documentary, he told AFP.

“The conversion to Islam is not abandoning Christianity or Judaism, which I was born with. It means I have accepted Mohammad and other prophets,” he said in a brief telephone call from the central Iranian city of Isfahan, where he underwent the ceremony.

Sean Stone’s famous father is Jewish, while his mother is Christian.

The 27-year-old filmmaker did not say why he converted.

According to Iran’s Fars news agency, Sean Stone had become a Shiite and had chosen to be known by the Muslim first name Ali.

Sean/Ali Stone has acted in minor roles in several of his father’s films, and has directed a handful of documentaries.

He’s really going to have to do something about that hair.

Meanwhile, here he is discussing his visit to Iran and conversion. He defends Ahmadinejad and has no problem with Iran having a nuclear weapon.

Daddy must be proud.