The Azazma Bedouin tribe has kidnapped 17 Egyptian border officers after one of its members was killed trying to sneak into Israel, security sources said Thursday.

The tribe kidnapped 17 border guards of the Central Security Forces during their shift around 4 p.m. Thursday along the Israeli-Egyptian border, the security officials said.

The kidnappers are detaining the guards somewhere in the desert near the border as negotiations continue between the military leadership and sheikhs of the tribe to release them, they said.

When asked why they kidnapped the border guards, the culprits made the cryptic claim that their jeans made them do it.

Muhammad Al-Mane’i, Sinai Bedouin: There was a time when they would bring us jeans. These pants used to have belts. If you looked at these belts from the front, you’d find a secret compartment, and when you opened it, you would find a magnet inside. When we asked what these magnets were, we were told that they cause sterility.

Interviewer: In other words, it causes infertility.

Muhammad Al-Mane’i: Exactly.

Interviewer: There was a time when these jeans with belts would invade us from Israel, and we used to take the magnets out and chuck them away.

[…]

Interviewer: Israeli products contain lethal poison. You might not feel this poison now, but you will in the future. Israel will remain an enemy lying in wait for Egypt, no matter what happens and regardless of the agreements, because Israel has its eye set on Egypt.

What the Bedouin fails to realize is how Zionist Death Jeans^TM are even more lethal in combination with Zionist Sex Gum.^TM

In any event, I think you’ll agree jeans that not only have the ability to cause infertility, but also the ability to invade people, are pretty impressive.

Diabolical!

A verbal clash erupted between People’s Assembly speaker Saad al-Katatny and Salafi MP Mamdouh Ismail after the latter stood up and made the call for Asr Prayer during Tuesday’s parliamentary session.

Katatny criticized the move and angrily interrupted Ismail, saying that his actions were in violation of parliamentary procedures. Ismail insisted on continuing the call to prayer, and Katatny then threatened him with expulsion from the session.

“You are no more Muslim than any of us,” Katatny said. He went on to tell Ismail there was a mosque in the parliament building in which people can pray.

The incident caused a state of disorder within the session. Freedom and Justice Party MP Al-Sayed Askar responded to Ismail’s, saying, “During the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, Muslims combined the Thuhr and Asr Prayers when necessary.”

Below is video of the incident. Things really get good around the 1 minute mark, though, the whole is quite entertaining.

Egypt’s Committee of Foreign Relations of the People’s Assembly decided on Monday that it would boycott any parliamentary events and activities if any Israelis official is one of the participants, describing their neighbor as a “Zionist entity.”

This came in response to an inquiry by MP Helal el-Dandarawi concerning the Parliament’s position towards the relations with the Israeli Trade Union and labor associations as well as the Knesset.

Essam el-Erian, chairman of the committee and a member of the Muslim Brotherhood`s Freedom and Justice Party (FJP), said “normalization with the Zionist entity” is rejected unequivocally and this “is the decision of the Egyptian People,” adding that the committee “refuses to participate in any parliamentary or political events that includes the Israeli participation.”

He continued to say that “the question that should be discussed by parliament is if there is an international conference attended by Israelis, should Egyptian MPs withdraw or not?”

Wahid Abdel Meguid, also a member of the committee, called for taking a clear stance on this issue, which is to “boycott any political or parliamentary events attended by Israeli delegations.”

MP Emad Gad stated that despite knowing that normalization is widely rejected, however, “there are international conferences that have to be attended even if Israelis are participating,” adding that “sometimes boycotting is not the right step to take.”

El–Erian said the parliament is not an “official institution that represents the state or government, but it represents the people, who reject normalization with Israel.”

A cold, cold peace.

Say what?

Meanwhile, I’d say Egyptian TV host Sheik Khaled Abdallah should try to get to the bottom of who infiltrated his forehead.

Update: Don’t worry, Egyptian MP Mustafa Bakri knows who to blame!

Ansar al-Jihad in the Sinai Peninsula has claimed responsibility for the attack.  According to the group, the attack on the pipeline was retaliation for the death of Mohammad Tihi, the group’s leader, in an Egyptian prison on Saturday.

Ma’an News Agency reports that Tihi “masterminded attacks on a police station in el-Arish and carried out bombings of gas pipelines from Egypt to Israel and Jordan.” In addition, “Egyptian authorities accused him [Tihi] of killing a police officer and planning to bomb security offices and other targets.”

Ansar al-Jihad in the Sinai Peninsula announced its formation in late December 2011 and claimed responsibility for a number of the earlier attacks on Egypt’s gas pipeline with Israel. In January, the group swore allegiance to Al-Qaeda’s emir, Ayman al Zawahiri. A US intelligence official told The Long War Journal that “Al Qaeda in the Sinai has been establishing ties with the Gaza-based Salafist groups and is seeking to coordinate operations.” The terrorist group has also claimed responsibility for the attack near Eilat in August, which killed 8 Israelis.

Bill Roggio sums up the worrying situation in the Sinai:

Security in the Sinai Peninsula has deteriorated since the popular uprising last winter that resulted in former President Mubarak’s ouster. Hundreds of Islamists, many from Ayman al Zawahiri’s Egyptian Islamic Group, have been freed from prisons, and some are thought to have returned to support terror groups.

…Many analysts predicted that al Qaeda would be weakened after the death of Osama bin Laden, as Zawahiri is perceived to be unpopular in many jihadist circles. All of al Qaeda’s affiilates, however, including al Qaeda in Iraq, Shabaab, al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb, and al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, have sworn allegiance to Zawahiri. Furthermore, there have been no reports of major disagreements within the jihadist leadership or the rank and file over Zawahiri’s succession to bin Laden’s role as emir.

Dozens of #Egyptians dead after soccer-related clashes in #PortSaid & #Cairo. Countdown to blaming the #Zionists in 3…2…

— Zionist Shark (@ZionistShark) February 1, 2012

The very next day, Elder of Ziyon and MEMRI were kind enough to show everyone that Zionist Shark is not only Zionist, but also clairvoyant.

EoZ: Egyptian MP blames soccer deaths on – well, you know who.

Aww yeah! I win the Irrational, Conspiracist, Blame-the-Zionists-for-What-Ails-Your-Country-Internally pool! W00t!

Who has 12 fins (most sharks have 8, but my crafty, clever, evil Zionist overlords engineered 4 secret ones) and called it as it was unfolding?

THIS shark!

Of course, I’m probably tooting my horn a little much here. After all, this kind of thing happens so often, it was really low-hanging fruit, wasn’t it?

Anyhoo…since you’re already here and all, wanna play Spot the Evil Zionist with me?

Do you see any Zionists here?
Here?How ’bout here?

The trips have a number of goals including, but not limited to, strengthening Hamas’ ties with Arab states, reinforcing the legitimacy of Hamas and bolstering Haniyeh’s personal status.

In addition to Qatar, Haniyeh will visit Bahrain, Iran and Kuwait. The visits to Kuwait and Qatar should not be all that interesting. The trip to Iran, on the other hand, will be.

Over recent months, Iran has slowed, if not ceased, its funding of Hamas. This void has reportedly been filled by Turkey, while Iran has turned towards Islamic Jihad.

Nonetheless, Iran will surely do all it can to keep its hand in the game and remain relevant. The question now is whether or not Hamas will decide to fully let go or latch back on to the Iranian regime.

In other news, Hamas’ Khaled Meshal met with Jordan’s King Abdullah on Sunday. I reported on the rapprochement last week.  During the meeting Jordanian officials repeated that they will not allow Hamas to reopen its offices in the country. Nonetheless, Hamas officials said the meeting was “extremely positive and excellent.” Yet, Meshal’s visit,which was scheduled to last three days, was cut short, as he left Jordan on Sunday. Hamas and Jordanian officials have offered no explanation as to why Meshal’s visit was cut short.

Update: Haniyeh will reportedly ask Qatar to fulfill its promise from 2006 to provide Gaza with a $17 million sports facility.

Update: Haniyeh has arrived in Qatar.

A foreign woman was stripped and sexually assaulted on Wednesday evening in Egypt’s iconic Tahrir Square, one eyewitness said on Twitter and another confirmed in an email to Bikyamasr.com.

The woman, who’s identity has not been revealed, was taken away in an ambulance after being assaulted for 10 minutes. Her husband reportedly was unable to intervene and witnessed the incident.

“I saw the woman and then dozens of men surrounded her and started grabbing her, when she screamed for help some people came, but they were hit in the face,” wrote one witness.

What happened next was “appalling,” said the trusted witness, who asked for anonymity. “The men just started tearing at her clothes and grabbing her body all over. When she fought back, they pushed her. It was chaos.”

There were unconfirmed reports that the men “violated” her with their hands.

The report adds some interesting and shocking statistics:

Instances of sexual assaults on female journalists covering the events in Tahrir Square have continued in the year since Mubarak’s ouster.

According to studies conducted by the Egyptian Center for Women’s Right (ECWR) in 2008, 98 percent of foreign women and 83 percent of Egyptian women surveyed had experienced sexual harassment in Egypt.

Meanwhile, 62 percent of Egyptian men confessed to harassing women and 53 percent of Egyptian men faulted women for “bringing it on.”

This assault should bring forth memories of the assaults on Lara Logan, Mona Eltahway, and Caroline Sanz.

Update: Bikya Masr now has an interview with the attacked foreigner.

“They started fighting over who was going to do what,” Heather told Bikyamasr.com in an exclusive interview. She came forward after seeing the report on a foreign woman who was stripped naked and assaulted only hours after her own incident.

“My roommates and I fell to the ground when they attacked us. The people pulled our pants off even as we yelled and tried to fight,” she continued.

The incident occurred around 7:30 PM local time, just as night was taking hold of the city. Heather said the attack happened “in the center of Tahrir.”

She said that after the men pulled their pants off, they continued to grab and grobe the women’s bodies. “It is disgusting. They put fingers up my ass,” she revealed.

Later in the report we learn

Heather said that she came forward to talk about what happened to her “because people need to know what goes on. It is the only way to start making it a problem that will have to be dealt with.”

However, many people told her to not reveal what happened to her because she was told, “it would hurt the image of the revolution.” But Heather said after seeing the reports of others and their assaults, “I felt it was right to say something.”

Update: In a third article at Bikya Masr, Joseph Mayton adds:

At least four women have been reported to have had their clothes ripped from their bodies, assault and groped endlessly by mobs of men in Cairo’s Tahrir Square. Certainly more reports of assaults will flood editors’ email in the coming days. It seems whenever there is a mass protest in Egypt it is accompanied by attacks against women.

Egyptians have attempted to avoid the situation plaguing society for far too long. If it happens to a foreigner, they apologize, but if it happens to their sister, their mother, their girlfriend, their spouse, there has always been a tacit denial of any real problem. Instead of trying to save face, what should be happening is a real dialogue, a real open discussion about the causes of sexual violence in society. Without one, these women will not be the last victims of sexual brutality.

Update: Below is a video of the incident. It appears to be the part in which the woman is rescued.

Reza Aslan: 2011 served as a reminder to us all that no regime can stand up to the will of a people united in the cause of freedom and democracy. In the span of a year, dictatorships in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya fell, and significant political reform was forced upon the governments of Morocco, Jordan, and Oman. Now, as the Arab Spring enters a new year — with revolutions still smoldering in Syria, Bahrain, Yemen, and beyond — there’s one question we should ask: Can religiously inspired parties that have come to political prominence in the aftermath of these popular uprisings transform themselves into responsible members of democratic governments?

Great question, actually. Of course, it’s the answer I’m concerned about. Let’s see where he goes with this.

Pundits and politicians are already ringing the alarm bells. The common refrain you hear in the US: The Middle East is being overrun with religious radicals bent on oppressing women and destroying Israel.

Pundits, politicians, and sharks. Don’t forget sharks. And that does seem to be where we’re headed, not only in Egypt, but also in relatively liberal Tunisia, where Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh was greeted with chants of “Kill The Jews!”.

And yet, despite this, there is no shortage of pundits and politicians who worship at the politically-correct altar of wishful thinking, to the zero-sum detriment of critical analysis.

That is nonsense, of course.

Whoa there, professor. Nonsense? There is enough evidence to show that it is anything but nonsensical to be concerned about Islamist-led governments taking over control of country after country in this most volatile of regions.

Nevertheless, there is no doubt that political Islam will be a force in the new, democratic Middle East. And that is a good thing.

Wait, what?

A) Political Islam, in the guise of democratization, is in the process of becoming THE force in the new Middle East, and the only thing democratic about it is that’s the way it will take power.

B) If you care at all about freedom, liberty, peace and all of those wonderful things everyone was predicting during the heady days of Tahrir Square (when the mobs weren’t busy brutally raping female reporters, that is*), here’s the problem with thinking that this is a good thing:

As I wrote in the interview I did with Egypt Today magazine:

“As we saw with the 2006 election of Hamas in Gaza, and their subsequent violent seizure of complete power from Fatah the following year, a single election does not a democracy make (just as having a democracy also doesn’t automatically equal western values). To be “ready” for democracy, you need democratic institutions, tolerance for not just your own voice to be heard, but also those you don’t agree with, acceptance of minorities (for example attacks on Coptic Christians in Egypt increased after the revolution) freedom of the press, an independent judiciary, etc. These institutions don’t get built, and these values don’t get instilled overnight. As understandably impatient as Egyptians are to be free, if this process isn’t handled correctly, the upcoming vote could be the last one they have for a very long time (one man…one vote…one time).”

And isn’t it interesting that after hearing sober-minded analysts proclaim that the young, situationally-liberal groups would be the ones swept into power on a euphoric wave of freedom, sunshine, and puppy kisses, the party line is now, “Well…yes… it seems it is happening as the doom and gloom crowd predicted after all, but it’s all good, so we’re still right and you’re still wrong.”

It is time for these religious parties to stop hiding in the mosque and instead be forced to compete openly in the marketplace of ideas for the votes of a free electorate. After all, what could be more important to a burgeoning democracy than an open debate about the role of religion in society? A few months ago, such talk would have landed you in prison. Today, it is part of the vibrant political debate that is taking place all over the Middle East.

It remains to be seen whether the newly elected Islamist parties in Egypt and Tunisia will moderate their ideologies and focus on the immediate demands of the people who voted them into office. But this much is certain: If they do not — if they spend their time railing about the West instead of creating jobs for the people — they’ll be booted out of office just as quickly as they were voted in.

Wow. This is truly astounding in either its naivete or dishonesty. The Islamists competed in the marketplace of ideas, won the competition (due in part to being the most organized, recognized and well-funded coming into it), and will soon be closing said marketplace to further competition.

This much is certain: By the time you decide that you’re not quite as thrilled with Islamist governance as you thought you might be, you will have handed over the right to boot anyone out of anywhere.

That’s how democracies work. And whether we like it or not, for the first time in decades, neither the aging autocrats in the region nor their American backers have anything to say about it.

This IS how democracies work. Too bad after a single election, Egyptians et al. won’t be living under one.

I don’t think any of what I’m writing is revolutionary or surprising. So much so that even an amateur analyst like myself (as opposed to a professional like Barry Rubin) can see it. It’s the simplest explanation – the Occam’s Razor of Arab Spring analyses.

It should be patently obvious to all, that after waiting decades for their chance at the governmental brass ring, Islamist parties like the Muslim Brotherhood and the Salafists, who together just won 71% of the final vote in Egypt, are not looking to hand it over any time soon (especially because the ideology of democracy is diametrically opposed to the ideology of Islamism). And the only ones who can’t see it are the ones who are willfully blinding themselves (or others) in the face of the gathering storm.

* UPDATE: Deja vu all over again: Foreign Woman Attacked in Egypt’s Tahrir Square