All Entries Tagged With: "Only in Israel"

The Silence

Today we marked Yom Hashoah or Holocaust Memorial Day.
It commenced last night as our leadership (if we can call it that) participated in a ceremony at Yad Vashem, and continued today, beginning with a two-minute-long siren at 10:00AM which brought most of Israel to a standstill.
As fate would have it, I happened to be in [...]

West Side Whorey

Israeli “creative co-op” VeeCee, has decided that the best way to deal with high rent in Tel Aviv is to create cardboard hookers to drive down prices (hat tip: Ace).
Talk about thinking out of the box.
*Ba dum bum*
In any event, I have just the solution to this cardboard filth.

What If?

This is extremely funny. Until you realize how sad it is (hat tip: Israelity).

If Arik (Sharon) woke up today….
 
It is a rainy night and we are at Tel Hashomer Hospital. Only one assistant is around, named Shmiel. He is on night duty tonight in the room of “sleeping” former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.
 
Everybody, but Sharon [...]

Schizophrenia

Compare and contrast:
 
Story #1

Forget the anti-Semitic jokes, it’s the racy publicity for the film “Borat” that bothers Israel’s censors.
 
Posters showing comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s boorish Kazakh alter ego in a skimpy posing pouch were scrapped in the Jewish state on the grounds of decency, the newspaper Haaretz reported on Tuesday.
 
Instead, the star will be shown [...]

Only in Israel

Reuters reports:
Miss Israel has been given permission not to carry her assault rifle during service in the Israeli army because she says it bruises her legs.
Reigning beauty queen Yael Nezri, a private who recently completed basic training, said the bruises were making it difficult for her to model in photo shoots.
The Jerusalem Post reported that [...]

Long John Silverberg

Just when you thought you’d heard it all, along come circumcision pirates (hat tip: Jewlicious).

A group of haredi extremists suspected of being part of a pirate circumcision network that carried out illegal circumcisions on dozens of Russian teenagers in Jerusalem has fled the country and remains at large, police said Monday.
 
The haredi zealots allegedly performed the illicit [...]

Lost in Translation

Introducing the mother of all Israeli translation mistakes.

“Jerusalem. There is no such city!” the Jerusalem municipality said in the English-language version of a sightseeing brochure it had published originally in Hebrew.
 
The correct translation: “Jerusalem. There is no city like it!”
 
Carrying a photograph of the brochure, Israel’s Maariv newspaper said on Wednesday tens of thousands of [...]

Independence Day

Here in Israel, the sombre mood of Remembrance Day (Yom Hazikaron) has just given way to the festivities of Independence Day* (Yom Ha’atzmaut).
And that is the best reply to this despicable post by some Arab Americans (designed to denigrate Israel and those who have fallen protecting her civilians from the countless attacks at the hands [...]

Sin Prevention

Ynetnews reports:

Religious dispute in Jerusalem: Dozens of riled up ultra-orthodox broke into a Jerusalem internet cafÈ Monday, broke the doors and shattered the computers, claiming the place incites the haredi community to commit sins.
You know..sins like breaking into internet cafes and vandalizing them.

Guaranteed to Turn Your Stomach

Warning: Do not read this next story while eating or drinking.

Yigal Amir and Larissa Trimbobler were caught trying to smuggle semen out of prison, in a pirate attempt to advance the artificial insemination process granted to them.
 
After receiving authorization to bring a child into the world through artificial insemination, prison staff found a bag containing [...]