Israellycool

“I enjoyed the opportunity to show many different aspects of my personality. To interview Yasser Arafat and then talk about shoes and paint pottery. It was a delight.”

- Newswoman Katie Couric, who also reveals that her mother is Jewish (making her Jewish) but was raised as a Presbyterian. But you already knew that.

Iranian Vice President Esfandiar Rahim-Mashaei believes our intelligence is there to be insulted.

How else do you explain his statement that Iran is a friend of the Satan brothers?

The deputy to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Saturday that Iran was a friend of Israel, Iranian news agencies reported.

“Iran wants no war with any country, and today Iran is friend of the United States and even Israel…. Our achievements belong to the whole world and should be used for expanding love and peace,” said Iranian Vice President Esfandiar Rahim-Mashaei, who is also head of the Cultural Heritage Organization.

I can feel a group hug coming on…

Supplying terrorists with money and weapons to use against us? Just a misunderstanding.

All that talk of wiping us off the map, and calling us - amongst other things - a cancerous growth that will disappear by means of the Hizbullah fighters’ radiation [therapy]? Just playful banter between friends.

Referring to us exclusively as the “Zionist entity”? Just a nickname.

Yeah, right.

As for that reference to “[Iran's] achievements”, now that’s funny. Although I can’t help but think what they would consider their greatest achievement is not all that far off.

Unless we do something about it.

You know, as a friend.

“We’re not all about eating hummus, killing Arabs and fornicating. We do other things as well.”

-Amir Kaminer, movie critic for the Yediot Ahronot daily, on the new Adam Sandler movie You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

Did he just concede that Israelis eat hummus, kill Arabs and fornicate?!

“Even the Israeli enemy never dared to do to Beirut what Hizbullah has done.”

- Lebanese Prime Minister Fuad Saniora

Yeah, who’d have thought a terrorist organization that targets civilians and uses its own people as human shields would prove to be crueler than a State that goes out of its way to limit civilian casualties, at great peril to its own soldiers and civilians?

“It seems to me that, today, it can be stated confidently — and not, God forbid, arrogantly — that the Israeli people has a government that knows how to protect it, that it has a leadership that knows how to look out for its security and future.”

- Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

The only thing sadder than the fact Olmert really believe this is the fact he is still our Prime Minister.

“I don’t know what our government does except put us into debt and blow up other countries.”

- Madonna

“I don’t believe virtually anything we read [on Iran] because we are on the receiving end of a lot of propaganda.”

- Irish singer Chris de Burgh, who has confirmed he will have an open-air concert in Tehran this summer.

Of course, when it comes to real propaganda, de Burgh seems to accept it without question:

“I find it amazing when I get letters from people in Israel and people in Lebanon and they both love the music, but in real life, they hate each other.”

And he’s also been known to disseminate it himself.

I’m guessing people have confused de Bergh with Phil Collins.

Update: Speaking of Phil Collins and the rumors of his supposed anti-Semitism (which I dealt with here), I have now found Collin’s own response to these accusations.

Phil Collins is battling a charge of anti-Semitism that could date back about 20 years. On his official philcollins.co.uk Website, Collins has posted a fan letter asking him to clarify his position, which reads: “It is said that you are an anti-Semite and you wholeheartedly support the P.L.O….How could an artist with such God-given talents…support this organization and dislike Jewish people…many Jews will not buy your music or listen to your music. My children ask me to change the radio station when your music comes on…I am writing to you to clear this up…I would hate to have to stop listening to your music…I hope this information is incorrect, and I hope I can correct people and tell them this is false.”

Yesterday (Wednesday, December 17th), Collins posted his reply: “To say that I’m confused, angry, and baffled is an understatement! I have no idea how these rumors start but there is absolutely no truth in what you’ve heard at all. I have never been asked what I feel about the problems that exist, so (I) have never voiced an opinion…I have no blanket belief that could be interpreted in a way that you express in your letter…I have always prided myself on a complete lack of racial and religious prejudice, so your letter gets to me more than some other criticisms might.”

Collins added that he’s been through this before: “A rumor similar to this, and possibly the origin of this one, I heard in New York in the ’80s. Someone said that they’d read in a Jewish magazine that I was an anti-Semite…The same person then went on to tell a similar story to yours — wouldn’t mention my name, play the music, etc. I was then married to a lady whose father was Jewish, so the story was even more farcical.”

The response ended with Collins asking the fan to make sure everyone knows there’s no truth to the story. He also wrote, “As for your children, tell ‘em ‘Uncle’ Phil’s not so bad as they thought.”

“The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is the sexiest conflict in the world, and everybody wants to be involved.”

- Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni, last week at Harvard Kennedy School

Kinky.

But seriously, there is nothing sexy about this conflict, and I’m quite surprised the Foreign Minister would use such a flippant term.

Is there anything sexy about terrorists firing rockets at cities, blowing themselves up in crowded malls, or a terrorist gunning down 8 boys, or putting a bullet through the head of a baby?

No, the correct word is ugly. Because we are seeing palestinians use perhaps the ugliest tactics ever to be used in conflict.

Update: The following picture accompanies the article I linked to above:

Man, that woman really does everything.

Update: Yet another reason why the word sexiest does not come to mind when describing this conflict.

“Kosovo is not better than us. We deserve independence even before Kosovo, and we ask for the backing of the United States and the European Union for our independence.”

- Yasser Abed Rabbo, aide to PA leader Mahmoud Abbas

The sad thing is, he probably believes it.

I honestly can’t think of one reason why the so-called palestinians deserve independence. As I have argued time and time again, even if you acknowledged they were a distinct nation entitled to self-determination in the historical homeland of the Jews, they have forfeited any right to independence through their morally reprehensible behavior.

“Israel was born from the ashes of the Holocaust. As such, Israel, the Jewish people and every democratic nation would not allow a second Holocaust to take place. Israel is more than prepared to meet any challenge by the new racist Nazi regime in Iran. We know every step they take, we know the color of the underwear that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Hassan Nasrallah wear.”

- Anonymous Israeli security analyst

I could guess the color of their underwear, especially if they continue threatening us.

Clue: the color resulting from a fair share of filthy germs.

Update: I guess I should have also included this part of the quote:

“If they think that the US can shoot down a satellite with laser pin point accuracy, they have not seen the weapons that Israel would and could use to defend herself — and I am not talking about nuclear or biological.”

I can confirm that I have heard something similar from a trustworthy source. Apparently, we can send any country that tries to destroy us back to the Stone Age.

“I’m not desperate! I just got off of ‘I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!’ and have a show in 110 countries.”

- Janice Dickinson, ex-Supermodel/ex-girlfriend of Sylvester Stallone, showing how not to win an argument.

“I would hope if many people in the world would come to this place, it would be a sobering reminder that evil exists and a call that when we find evil, we must resist it.”

US President George Bush, at Yad Vashem today.

A day after again endorsing a palestinian state - the ultimate reward for decades of palestinian terrorism.