Former Argentinean soccer player Diego Armando Maradona expressed his desire on Monday to visit Iran and meet President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

In a meeting with Iranian Charge d’Affaires to Buenos Aires Mohsen Baharavand, the former soccer player, whose infamous “Hand of God” goal knocked England out of the 1986 World Cup quarterfinal and whose life has been plagued with years of cocaine abuse, presented his autographed T-shirt to the Iranian nation.

“With all my love to Iranian people,” Maradona signed the T-shirt.

Expressing his deep affection for the people of Iran, Maradona, who was thrown out of the 1994 World Cup finals in the US after failing a drugs test, said: “I am with the people of Iran by all my heart, I support them. I say it because I feel it, because I mean it.”

The former player, who is an outspoken critic of US President George W. Bush, told Baharavand that he backs Ahmadinejad’s government.

“I have already met (Cuban President) Fidel (Castro), and (Venezuelan President Hugo) Chavez, now I need to meet your president, Ahmadinejad,” said Maradona.

Sounds to me like “Hand of God” is about to shake Hand of Satan. The blimp hearts the chimp. The crackhead likes the crackpot.

But let Iran have Maradona. After all, we have Madonna.

And boy was the English team’s coach happy.

England boss Steve McClaren has paid tribute to Israel’s professionalism after they beat Russia to give his squad a Euro 2008 lifeline that looks set to save the beleaguered head coach from the sack.

The Israelis unexpected 2-1 win over Guus Hiddink’s side means England need only a draw against Croatia this week to book their place in next year’s finals in Austria and Switzerland.

One of the side effects of Omer Golan’s injury time winner for Israel was to ensure the Croatians of their finals spot, and, despite a 2-0 defeat by Macedonia on Saturday night, Slaven Bilic’s squad will have only pride to play for at Wembley on Wednesday evening.

McClaren, who had been facing the sack in the event of a Russian win in Tel Aviv, could scarcely control his emotions after watching Israel effectively extend his stay in the rarefied atmosphere of international management.

“What a night! Absolutely fantastic news for us all,” said the former Middlesbrough boss.

“I’d like to pay tribute to Israel for the professional way they went about their job – they showed what a proud nation they are and deserve a lot of praise for their efforts.

To be perfectly honest, I would not have minded at all had Israel lost. For any number of reasons.

Meanwhile, security has been doubled at the hotel housing the English team. Well, not quite.

The players of the England football team landed in Israel’s Ben Gurion International airport Thursday evening, ahead of the Euro 2008 qualifier match against Israel scheduled for Saturday.

The beer supply at the Herzliya hotel housing the team has been doubled in anticipation of their arrival.

No doubt the beer will help the team forget the pork sausages and Parmesan.

Here’s hoping that Israel is able to pull off an incredible upset.

The million dollar question is what did Italy’s Marco Materazzi say to Zidane, to provoke such a violent response? The media is rife with speculation, with lip readers being employed to try and ascertain what Materazzi said.

An Italian lip-reader, who claimed to have deciphered Materazzi’s words, told the BBC that Materazzi had said: “I wish an ugly death to you and all your family”, and then added, “Go f— yourself.”

Britain’s top forensic lip-reader, Jessica Rees – whose skill has led her to be summoned as an expert witness at criminal trials – believed Materazzi called Zidane a “son of a terrorist whore” before he added, “So just f— off”.

The Daily Mail said it, too, engaged a lip-reader who reached the same conclusion as Rees.

Brazil’s Globo television also employed lip-reading experts, who concluded Materazzi had twice told Zidane his sister was a “whore”, before directing “a coarse word” at him.

The French anti-racism group SOS Racisme issued a statement alleging that “several very well informed sources from the world of football” were convinced Materazzi called Zidane a “dirty terrorist”.

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Zidane’s parents are Algerian, and he describes himself as a non-practising Muslim. Mokhtar Haddad, a cousin who gathered with friends and family to examine the incident on a big screen in the family’s village of Aguemoune, 260 kilometres east of Algiers, said: “We think he either called him a terrorist or a son of Harkis.” Harkis is a severe insult to Algerians, a term for collaborators in the Algerian war of independence from France. “The insult went in that direction,” said Djamel Zidane, the player’s brother. “Otherwise, he would not have reacted that way.”

“I did insult him, it’s true,” Materazzi said in Tuesday’s Gazzetta dello Sport. “But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is.”

But last night Materazzi’s agent Phil Smith revealed the Italian’s version of what happened.

He said it began when Materazzi grabbed the Frenchman’s shirt, pinching his nipple. “If you want my shirt so much, then you can f…… have it after the game,” Zidane supposedly said.

“I’d rather have the shirt off your woman,” Materazzi responded, a reference to Zidane’s wife Veronique. Ka-boom.

“He is a person who doesn’t say much but bottles it up and then one day explodes.”

Oh the pain, the pain! Not only did the Aussies match it with the Italians, but it looked like we might actually win the game after Italian defended Marco Materazzi was red carded not long after the half-time break. But a poor refereeing decision a few seconds from the end has cruelly ended Australia’s World Cup.

From here on…go Ghana!

A British jihadists website has warned Muslims against being drawn in to what they described as “the new religion of soccer.”

The Saved Sect website, which calls on Muslims to work to establish an Islamic state in Britain, has attacked “football fever,” saying that soccer has “captivated the masses, dedicating their time and effort towards it.”

Comparing the allegiance of soccer fans to Islam and jihad, the organization said: “Football is the deen (religion) by which people live their lives by and are willing to die for. Their jihad is to fight against those who are arch rivals against their team. Their da’wah (call, invitation) is to publicize, defend and justify their team, inviting others to support them in this.”

“People will spend hundreds and thousands of pounds for this religion of theirs, traveling to other parts of the world in support of their team‚Ķ showing affection, supporting and caring about‚Ķ They will jump down the throats of those who so much as even dare to criticize their god rising to defend it at all costs,” the Saved Sect website said.

Claiming that soccer plants the seeds of nationalism, and is therefore part of a “colonial crusader scheme” to divide Muslims and cause them to stray from the vision of a unified Islamic identity, the website told readers: “The sad fact of the matter is that many Muslims have fallen for this new religion and they too carry the national flag.

The statement, aimed at calling on British Muslims to disassociate themselves with the World Cup in Germany, ended with a quote by Islam’s prophet, Muhammad, condemning nationalism.

I also suspect that the Jihadists despise soccer because it makes life so confusing for them. For example:

The live commentator on the Arab satellite channel broadcasting all World Cup matches in the region abruptly cut short his trademark “goooaaaaaaal” when Paintsil brought out the flag.

 

“What are you doing, man?” the bewildered commentator said.

Some papers described Paintsil as a “Mossad agent”, others said “an Israeli had paid him to do it.”

“The real reason,” sports analyst Hassan el-Mestekawi wrote, stems from the fact that many Ghanaian players go through football training camps set up by an Israeli coach who “discovered the treasure of African talent, and abused the poverty of the continent’s children” with the ultimate goal of selling them off to European clubs.

 

“The training program for these children starts every morning with a salute to the Israeli flag,” Mestekawi claimed.

Note (for Wikipedia posters): The word “flaggate” was first coined here on this blog, despite its rapid adoption elsewhere. I am currently checking with my lawyers about the possibility of getting royalties.

“I ask every Arab and Muslim who has zeal for his religion to boycott all kinds of Ghanaian products even if they were necessary for the daily life” (Big Pharaoh: ummm, can you name me 1 Ghanaian product??)

The Ghanaian Football Association apologised on Monday after one of its players waved an Israeli flag to celebrate their 2-0 World Cup win against the Czech Republic.

 

Team spokesman Randy Abbey said it was important to point out that the Ghanaian FA was not trying to take sides in the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians.

 

Defender John Paintsil was very popular in Israel where he plays for Hapoel Tel Aviv and had wanted to acknowledge the Israeli fans who had travelled to Germany to support him, Abbey said.

 

“He is obviously unaware of the implications of what he did. He’s unaware of international politics. We apologise to anybody who was offended and we promise that it will never happen again.

 

“He did not act out of malice for the Arab people or in support of Israel. He was naive… we don’t need to punish him.”

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“We are not in support or against Israel or the Arab nations. We are here to do football, we are not here to do politics.”

“I love the supporters in Israel so I decided to take out the flag,” Paintsil said.

 

“I have played for Hapoel and Maccabi Tel Aviv and the supporters there always made me happy so I wanted to repay them.”

Israeli soccer pundits said Hapoel were looking to axe Paintsil from their line-up for next season but the club might now want to reconsider.

Fifa spokesman Markus Siegler said the game’s governing had no problem with Pantsil’s action.

 

“Its like the mask incident last week when Ivan Kaviedes scored for Ecuador against Costa Rica and pulled a mask over his face to celebrate. Let’s not get too petty about this. I think it’s fine.”