Old and busted

New hotness: Nigerian scam emails, purportedly from despotic leaders and the wives of terrorists, now with links to supporting information!

Received today in my inbox:

Exclusively To You,

I am Mrs. Suha Tawil Arafat, the wife of Yasser Arafat, the Palestinian leader who died in Paris. Since the death of my husband I have been humiliated by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization. I have been subjected to physical torture.

As a window it was so painful, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment. I think you must have heard over the media reports on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my late husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine (P.L.O).

And they are not relenting on their effort to make me and my only Daughter poor. Hence my desire for a foreign assistance for the future of my only Daughter .You can visit the BBC news broadcast below for your understanding of what I am talking about;

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3479937.stm

Please I need your assistant over deposited fund amount $10,000,000,00.(Ten Five Million Dollars) with a Financial institution in abroad, So that I will permit the Financial Institution to transfer the fund to your country for safe keeping and for lucrative business in your country in the name of my Daughter Zahwa.

Please let this arrangement be known to you and I alone and l want all our correspondence should be strictly on email alone because my telephone number has been tapped and all my lines are monitoring in my
country. lf you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits,

We have to negotiate on your Percentage of the $10,000,000.00 As I am ready to offer you 30% for you to assist me to buy a house and set up a business in the name of my (Daughter Zahwa) in your country and she will come and meet with you, Please do not betray me as you can as well view this report in the year August 2007 on:

http://www.jerusalemites.org/articles/english/2007/August/21.htm

This is how l was betrayed by some one l transferred my $11.5 Million Dollars to his Account and he size all the money and review my secret to his friend in Tunis, that is how l lost all the money, Please if you will be honest to me I will entrust more funds into your care and you will be having 30% percent on any of my money you receive, As this is one of the legacy that we will keep for our children.

But In case you don’t accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total confidence. Though we really do not know each other before, but I will greatly appreciate if you render me these assistants in good faith please expedite urgency.

Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Suha Tawil Arafat.

Unfortunately for this “Suha” impersonator, their research did not extend to Israellycool, because had it, they would have quickly learned that I might send money Suha’s way when hell her husband’s current place of residence freezes over.

AFP

I didn’t take money from Palestine, says Suha Arafat, the widow of former Chairman of the Palestinian Authority and the PLO Yasser Arafat. Speaking in an interview with Egyptian journalist Wael Al Abrashi she said, “I didn’t take lands from the state of Palestine.”

Arafat, who is currently residing in Malta, has been accused of stealing donation money from the Palestinian Authority. “After working for Palestine for 50 years, does Arafat not deserve to build a playground for his daughter in Tunisia? I am not ashamed of that but, others came and took over. It’s the only investment he did for Zahwa and I have the papers to prove it.” 

“He didn’t buy her jewelry or build her factories, just a little playground in Tunisia. I have nothing to hide. Yasser Arafat is the one who ordered the playground to be built.”

I can understand why Yasser Arafat ordered it. After all, he reportedly had a thing for children’s playgrounds.

The interview also exposed Arafat’s only daughter, Zahwa, for the first time. Although she was present during one part of the interview, her mother made sure Zahwa would not utter a sound. “She wants to be a lawyer. Having seen what they did to me, she has absolutely no interest in politics,” Suha noted, adding that her daughter loves literature and art.

At one point in the interview, Zahwa presented Suha with her report card. This caused Arafat to become emotional and she said had Zahwa’s father been alive he would have been proud.

In an Israellycool exclusive, we got our hands on the report card.

Click to enlarge

Before reading on, can you guess who she blames?

Correct.

Arafat says a “campaign” against her aims to distort the image of her late husband and Palestine. The campaign, according to her, was launched just as Palestine was readying to join the UN. In the Israeli media, she said, her case has attracted considerable attention “in order to distort the image of Palestine.”

“If Yasser Arafat were alive, he would tell me this doesn’t deserve a response.”

If Yasser Arafat were alive, he would also tell her “Not tonight. I have a headache hyena.”

This little piggy stayed at home

This little piggy had an arrest warrant issued against her..

Suha Arafat, widow of late PLO chairman Yasser Arafat, is wanted by officials in Tunisia for alleged corruption, AFP reported on Monday.

Tunisian Justice Ministry spokesman Kadhem Zine al Abidine told the French news agency that a warrant was issued for the 48-year-old Arafat, who was a citizen of Tunisia, until her citizenship was stripped in 2007.

The allegations go back to a 2006 business deal, when Suha Arafat had a fallout with former first lady of Tunisia over the establishment of an international school in Tunis, AFP quoted Tunisian newspapers as saying.

In 2007, Suha was declared persona non grata in Tunisia and had her citizenship revoked, reportedly by presidential decree. Suha was reported to be living in Malta, at least several months a year, where she owns a home.

Since the ouster of former Tunisian dictator Zine el-Abidine Ben Ali, a number of former regime officials have been charged with corruption.

Suha Arafat, the Palestinian first lady once famed for her outspoken remarks and a talent for embarrassing her husband, has confessed that she hates Israel, and never really believed in peace with the Jewish state.

Her remarks to the Saudi women’s magazine, Sayidaty, break a lengthy silence from the 37-year-old convent-educated wife of Yasser Arafat. They were reprinted yesterday in Yediot Ahronoth, the largest circulation Hebrew newspaper, at a time when the Palestinians are trying to get Israel to agree to an Egyptian-Jordanian ceasefire plan.

“I hate the Israelis,” Yediot quotes Mrs Arafat as saying. “I oppose normalisation with them. Israeli women have attempted to make contact with me and I rejected them.

“I am giving an unequivocal message to all Israeli women proposing help for our institutions: you are responsible for the problems our children have. How do you dare to offer donations?”

The interview is the first extensive airing of Mrs Arafat’s opinions since 1999 when she embarrassed the then visiting American first lady, Hillary Clinton, by accusing Israel of poisoning Palestinian air and water, and causing cancer.

—-

She makes plain that, even in the years before the intifada, she did not fully believe in the peace process. “I was never happy with the way negotiations with the Israelis were conducted. The way things are now, I do not believe we will ever achieve true peace.”

—-

Mrs Arafat has not been seen at her seaside home for several months and is believed to have spent most of the intifada in Paris. Her absence has embittered ordinary people who had expected their first lady to remain by their side.

—-

The photo spread may also be an attempt to assure Palestinians about her marriage to Mr Arafat. She says they have grown closer despite disagreements including, she claims, her efforts to stamp out corruption in the Palestinian Authority. “I am not afraid Arafat will marry another wife at the same time he is married to me. He doesn’t have the time.”

Or the sexual orientation.

Meanwhile, Suha offered this explanation for his quivering lip:

“This is the result of air pressure on aeroplanes – he is under pressure, and it is no wonder that the situation has had an effect on him.” Mrs Arafat says her 71-year-old husband is in good health.

At least he never had to worry about the aeroplane being hijacked.

It wouldn’t happen unless he gave the orders.

When Yasser Arafat was on his deathbed, his wife Suha read him passages from the Koran and urged him to trounce the prime minister at the time, Ariel Sharon.

“When he lost consciousness for 15 days, the doctors told me to talk to him about things he liked to hear or things he hated to hear,” she told a Saudi women’s weekly ahead of the fifth anniversary this week of the Palestinian leader’s death.

“And so, when I was with him in his room in the intensive care unit, I read him passages from the Koran and prayers.”

Using his nom de guerre, Suha Arafat said in a rare interview: “I would say to him, ‘Get up Abu Amar, don’t you want to see your [daughter] Zahwa? Get up so you can defeat your enemy [Ariel] Sharon.”

Suha was honored to be Yasser Arafat’s second love, after Palestine, she said.

“When I married him, I knew what I was in for,” she said. “I knew that his first love was always Palestine and its capital, Jerusalem. But it was an honor for me to be the second love, after Palestine.”

When Suha first met Yasser, she was frightened, she told the paper.

“At the beginning I was attracted to the leader of the revolution, then to the courage and masculinity and intelligence, and then also to the romance there was in him,” she said.

“I hope he went to paradise.”

Which brings me to…

The Top 5 Things Suha Arafat Did Not Say to A Comatose Yasser Arafat

5. “The young boys send their regards.”

4. “If you wake up, I promise to cut down on my spending.”

3. “I miss your soft skin.”

2. “This must be the longest you have gone without washing.”

1. “How I wish we could play “tiger” again.”

Relations between Israel and the United States are in crisis. This is the conclusion that stems from the difficulty in arranging a meeting between Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and U.S. President Barack Obama.

The White House wanted Netanyahu to sweat before being granted an audience with the president, and wanted everyone to see him perspire.

The delays in finding a time to meet, and pushing it to a late hour – after the news programs on Israeli television – make Netanyahu look as if Obama threw him a bone. In such circumstances, it is no longer important what will be said at the meeting, and the extent to which there will be an attempt to present it as an achievement. The prime minister of Israel was humiliated before all.

Updates (Israel time; most recent at top)

10:52PM: Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu was heckled by some schmekels during his address to the 2009 General Assembly of the The Jewish Federations of North America in Washington.

Props to Bibi for remaining composed and coming back with a zinger.

8:08PM: International “activists” have helped palestinians remove part of the security barrier for the second time in a week, making it easier for terrorists to enter Israel.

5:06PM: Syrian Dorktator Bashar Assad has clearly expressed his support for terrorism.

Syrian President Bashar Assad  warned on Monday that if the Golan Heights are not returned peacefully – Syria will turn to resistance. Speaking at an economic forum of the Organization of Islamic Conference in Istanbul, Assad said, “The failure of negotiations towards the full restoration of rights automatically means resistance is the alternative solution.”

According to Assad, “Resisting the occupation is a national duty. It is our legitimate and moral obligation to support it, and it is an honor that we take pride in. This does not contradict the constant desire to achieve a just and inclusive peace on the basis of the restoration of the occupied lands, starting with the occupied Syrian Golan.”

He has also repeated an old blood libel against Israel.

He also slammed Israel for the situation at the Temple Mount  in Jerusalem: “We felt this danger 40 years ago, when the Israelis tried to set fire to the al-Aqsa Mosque.

He is referring to the al-Aqsa Mosque fire in 1969, which was started by an (insane) Australian Christian by the name of Dennis Michael Rohan. In fact, it was Israeli firemen who worked hard to extinguish the fire, while being attacked by Muslim onlookers.

2:04PM: Disturbing quote of the day:

“At the beginning I was attracted to the leader of the revolution, then to the courage and masculinity and intelligence, and then also to the romance there was in him”

- Suha Arafat speaking about her former husband Yasser

5:42AM: Palestinians fired a Qassam into Israel just before midnight.

No injuries, no damage…and no response.

Suha Arafat, the widow of the late Palestinian president Yasser Arafat, says she wants to return to Palestine because life in the Diaspora has become unbearable.

“I will be back to Palestine, to Ramallah. My life and my daughter’s life in Diaspora has become intolerable. We lost security and safety as Abu Ammar left us. Every day since he passed I feel boredom and deadly sadness,” Suha told the London-based newspaper Al-Hayat.

Palestinians marked the fourth Anniversary of the death of their iconic leader on Tuesday. Arafat died of a mysterious medical condition in a Paris hospital in 2004. He spent his last days under besieged by the Israeli military in the presidential compound in Ramallah.

Suha is currently living in Malta after moving there from Tunisia.

I’m thinking either she ran out of designer shoes to buy, or the Maltese kicked her out as well.

“He used to care for every Palestinian family and take care of their small and large concerns ranging from the establishment of a Palestinian state to the simple daily life requirements. He also cared for his small family, me and my daughter, Zahwa.

You can say that again.

Look at what happened to our homeland and our cause and the political heritage. I miss him today and all Palestine misses him. All misfortunes can be simplified and forgotten, except death as its pain keeps deepening and increasing,” Suha added.

“When Abu Ammar [Arafat] was alive, he asked me and Zahwa to stay in Gaza and never leave after Israel bombarded our home. He refused our return to Ramallah because he considered himself a brave soldier who refused to use his wife and daughter as human shields for his protection.

Correct. He just used other people’s wives and children as human shields for his protection.

I have not felt homesick like I do today. I was sure about the dream of a Palestinian state and about Palestinian unity. Nowadays, I watch the news of unity and pray for the future of the Palestinian cause,” Suha said.

Thirteen-year-old Zahwa Arafat spoke briefly via telephone to Al-Hayat as she was heading to school, “I have exams, and it is tough stuff. I wish my father was alive, so he could have prayed for me to pass exams. I remember him as a leader and a struggler. I still remember how he used to telephone us every day asking me to focus on Arabic language and read the holy Quran. I went along with my mother to hajj [pilgrimage] in Saudi Arabia, and that could have thrilled my father.”

But not as much as some tiger-hyena same-sex action.

(Pappa Smurf idea inspired by Imshin. Who am I kidding? It was totally her idea. But I will take credit for the Miss Pigg