More results...

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

More results...

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

The Great Car Wash Conspiracy

I went to clean my car today.

Well, it’s not exactly my car, but the car that the company gives to me as part of my salary package. This is relevant to my story because the car has the company’s logo on the side. And since the company’s logo is on the side, the company wants me to get into the habit of having the car washed regularly. It would seem that a dirty car does not reflect well on the company. For my part, I am quite content to allow the car’s color to turn from white to black. But having the car cleaned is not such a problem, since the company pays for it, and I need only travel down the street to the car wash. I tried doing it myself after reading a guide from GrandPrixTimes on how to properly and safely wash the car, but ended up having it scratched in some places. After that I decided to let the guys do it instead.

Now, when I say car wash, I am not talking of one of those fancy places where everything is performed automatically. This particular car wash consists of a couple of guys with a super-turbo hose and lots of soap. Not to mention a powerful vacuum cleaner. Again, these details are all relevant to my story.

Last time I went to the car wash, the guys asked me if I would leave my keys with them, so they could also clean the inside of the car. Fearing that the car wash was just a front for these guys who make their real money stealing people’s cars, I elected to stay while they cleaned it. However, today, for whatever reason, I decided to take a chance and leave the keys with the guys. It could have been the fact that my friend went to the same car wash, left the keys and did not have her car stolen. Or it could have been the fact that I craved my air-conditioned office while the sun beat down on my head. Whatever the reason was, I left them with my keys. And not just the car keys, but all of my keys, which are on the same key ring.

Two hours later, and I return to the car wash. There is no sign of my car, nor any sign of the car wash guys. Panic sets in and I imagine all of the worst-case scenarios. What happens if the car wash guys were indeed operating a scam, awaiting the one idiot who would leave them with all of their keys, allowing them to do what they wanted to do all along – steal a car and rob a house. What happens if I was that idiot?

Just as I am about to call the police on my cell phone, I see one of the car wash guys walking towards me? This is a record of our exchange, translated into English of course.

Me: Where is my car? And where are my keys? I can’t see them!
Car Wash Guy: Which car?
Me: The one that is missing.
Car Wash Guy: Your car is here. Which one is it?
Me: The white [name of company] car
Car Wash Guy: Over there (pointing to car space about 20 meters from the washing station). Next to the blue car.
Me: (only hearing something about a blue car, since Car Wash Guy is speaking in very quick Hebrew) No! My car is white!
Car Wash Guy: (repeats what he said, but slower this time)
Me: Aaaaaaaa (as I start walking to my car)
Car Wash Guy: Don’t forget your keys
Me (as I walk back to Car Wash Guy and take the keys) Thanks!

As I get into my car, I breathe a huge sigh of relief and realize how paranoid and stupid I have been. Needless to say, I will never be leaving my keys at the car wash again.

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Scroll to Top