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Exclusive: The REAL Saddam Interrogation Transcript

Ok, so Meryl Yourish claims to have the transcript. I do not know her sources, but my sources have passed on to me part of the true transcript. The Time magazine excerpts are in normal font, with the remaining, previously unreleased portions in italics.

U.S: How are you?

S.H: I am sad because my people are in bondage.

U.S: Would you like a glass of water?

S.H: I drink water I will have to go to the bathroom and how can I use the bathroom when my people are in bondage?

U.S: So you haven’t used the bathroom at all, since you think your people are in bondage?S.H: Well, to tell you the truth, I was actually in my bathroom when you found me. You know, you could have knocked.

U.S: So you DO go to the bathroom, even though you claim your people are in bondage?

S.H: Why should both me AND my people suffer. Better that only my people suffer.

U.S: Do you know the location of Captain Scott Speicher, who went missing in 1991?

S.H: No, we have never kept any prisoners. I have never known what happened?

U.S: Does Iraq possess weapons of mass destruction?

S.H: No, of course not. The U.S. dreamed them up itself to have a reason to go to war with us. U.S: If you had no weapons of mass destruction then why not let the U.N. inspectors into your facilities?

S.H: We didn’t want them to go into the presidential areas and intrude on our privacy. Much like you intruded on my privacy when you barged into my spider hole when I was trying to go to the bathroom.

U.S: Why did you not try to resist or commit suicide when we found you?

S.H: Did you not hear what I told you? I was in the bathroom!

U.S: So you would have resisted or committed suicide if not for this fact?

S.H: Heck, no. I only pay others to resist or commit suicide. And I pay pretty well, might I add.

U.S: Why were you carrying $750,000 when we found you?

S.H: In the mad rush from my palace, I forgot my credit card.

U.S: But why did you even need any money? S.H: To pay others to resist or commit suicide.

U.S: Do you know anything about the current guerilla war against US troops?

S.H: You think I know about the gorillas just because I am hairy with a beard?

U.S: No. G-u-e-r-i-l-l-a!

S.H: Stop calling me names!

U.S: What about Osama Bin Laden?

S.H: No, you shouldn’t call him names either. U.S: We mean do you have any connections to him?

S.H: We used to send Ramadan cards to each other, but that is it. I always found him to be a little bit rude.

U.S: Why is that?

S.H: We had a rivalry. After all, there is only room for one maniacal, Islamic dictator in the world.

U.S: Do you have any connection to Yasser Arafat?

S.H: Our wives go shopping together in Paris, but that is about it.
I will try to obtain the remainder of the interrogation at a later stage.

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
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