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Here’s the story of a sour woman who killed her boyfriend by sitting on him.

Consider it a lemon squash.

A woman weighing 136kg has pleaded guilty to killing her much smaller boyfriend – by sitting on him.

Police in Cleveland said Mia Landingham and Mikal Middleston-Bey, who have three children together, got into an argument in August.

During the altercation Landingham sat on Middleston-Bey, who weighed 54.4kg.

Landingham was sentenced to three years probation and 100 hours community service on Wednesday after pleading guilty to involuntary manslaughter, Fox8 reported.

She was immediately released from jail.

Her attorney told said there was a long history of domestic abuse in the relationship.

I am sure there was – by the woman. I mean, how could her boyfriend have abused her? By biting her toes?

Meanwhile, here’s one of my favorite lines to a crime report in recent times.

Landingham said she was sorry for squashing the father of her children.

Followed by perhaps my second favorite.

“So basically you can say that I can go sit on somebody and get probation?” said one of the victim’s sisters.

Update: I perhaps spoke too soon about my favorite line to a crime report. A new contender has emerged.

“I’m a jealous wife, his penis should belong to me.”

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
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