Hi I’m The New Girl

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Hi, I’m Varda. Aussie Dave asked me to blog for Israellycool ostensibly because RealJStreets didn’t want to be the only girl here. At least that’s what he claims.

But between you and me, it’s because he’s afraid he’s going to get his pants sued off for gender discrimination. Besides, RealJ won’t make coffee.shutterstock_134003519

Don’t Do Windows

I WILL make coffee, but I don’t do windows.



I also don’t sew, iron, or make macramé plant hangers.

Aussie Dave is smart to have me because in spite of all the things I will and won’t do around here, I’m good for SEO. This is because I am the only Varda Epstein on Google (go ahead and test it out—you know you want to). I check on this periodically to make sure those bribes I send to Sergey are worthwhile because I’d sure rather spend the money on Thin Mints.

Now for some background: I am from Pittsburgh but read Leon Uris’ Exodus as a teenager and got on the next flight to Israel. I’m also an autodidact which is fancy-talk for undereducated. While all my friends were getting their college degrees, I was fulfilling my biological imperative.

Once my 12 children were weaned, I decided I had to help my husband support them so I started writing web content. I mostly wrote about infertility (true story).

shutterstock_79421698As I got good at this thing they called writing, I decided I wanted to do something to help my people, the sons of monkeys and pigs.shutterstock_32969155

Today I am the communications writer for the nonprofit organization known as Kars for Kids. Proving Pavlov’s theory is as easy as stating the name of my org to New Jerseyites. It makes them break into song (Hint: the jingle).

In my free time, you will find me here on Israellycool, writing about parenting, politics, and Israel. I may have to write about food or possibly genealogy if I get bored. Oh, and possibly religion, just to make sure I offend everyone I might have left out.

Bear with me.

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