John Kerry Phones Netanyahu To Offer Apologies For Chickensh*t Comment

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"Did you wash your hands? I'm a little afraid of germs"
“Did you wash your hands? I’m a little afraid of germs”

US Secretary of State John Kerry on Friday phoned Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, and apologized to him in the name of the Obama administration for the comments made by an anonymous US official who called the prime minister “a chickenshit.”

“I told Prime Minister Netanyahu that whoever made these statements should have known better. And even though I am sure he..I mean he or she..is probably very perceptive, experienced and bears absolutely no resemblance to Lurch from the Addams Family or Herman Munster, he should not have referred to Prime Minister Netanyahu using such crude language. And certainly not within earshot of Jeffrey Goldberg.”

“We also discussed how we can improve relations between our respective leaderships. Suggestions included more frequent communication, the occasional date night, and not acting like a coward. Just as examples.”



The above was satire. In case that was not already obvious. And no, Eminem is not converting to Judaism, nor did Dave Mathews immigrate to Israel.

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