Zionist Monkey Business


Ha’aretz reports:

After 10 days of pursuit, the monkey who escaped from a nun’s farm in Lebanon has been caught in Majd al-Krum in northern Israel. His return to the farm will be negotiated with the help of the United Nations.

The monkey, who belongs to the green guenon species mostly common in Africa, infiltrated the border last month and has been spotted in several locations in northern Israel – including the communities of Ziri’t and Hurfesh. His presence was first reported in Israel by Kan public broadcaster.

Nora Tavor, manager of the Monkey Forest in Yodfat, told Haaretz that it took five days to capture the monkey, stressing that it was caught by a team of women.

“I’m very proud to say that there was girl power in the field. The monkey escaped from a nun, and it was us women who captured him with patience, determination, faith and love.”

She added that the monkey was currently residing in the Monkey Farm in Yodfat, where he is eating well and resting, and that he will be soon handed over to the United Nations. “It’s an act of peace,” said Tavor, “Women making peace.”

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for women power. Bur can you please return one of our top agents?

Zionist Death MonkeysTM are really hard to come by.

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An Aussie immigrant to Israel, David Lange is founder and managing editor of Israellycool. He is a happy family man, and a lover of steak, Australian sports and single malt whisky.