I have a tough time sometimes when it comes to taking compliments or praise. I don’t know why, but it makes me uncomfortable. I usually just try to thank the person for their kind words but its especially difficult when I feel like they are thanking me for something that I should be doing regardless. How exactly does one accept a compliment for doing the right thing? How does someone accept a compliment for not doing the wrong thing?
First let me say, I am not humble. Most people who know me would laugh if you said I was humble. I can be cocky, some would even say it borders on arrogance. I prefer to call it “confidence born of demonstrated ability.” Since I was a kid, I have never been in a fight I didn’t believe I was not going to win. I am not fearless, I just don’t have much to fear. Let’s be honest – I am a physically large and capable human being, I do not live in a country where people are killed for speaking our minds and my enemies for the most part are not very scary, more amusing than anything. They are inept, incompetent and usually about as physically intimidating as a particularly unruly group of toddlers.
I also have no problem taking on people who are supposedly above my level intellectually because to be honest, I have yet to actually meet someone in an argument who I felt was intellectually my superior. Yeah, some of them have a lot of letters behind their name, but their level of knowledge and intellectual flexibility is usually on par with that of a 6th grader. Maybe it’s because the opposing side is populated with faux intellectuals who cannot debate their way out of a wet paper bag after sitting in echo chambers for a decade or four, or maybe because I have such a firm belief in the inherent justice of the causes I champion, but either way, I fear no-one.
I just want people to know, I am not a hero. I have done some heroic things during my life, but I am not a hero for speaking up or speaking out against hatred and bigotry. I don’t really know how to react when someone calls me that because I am merely a man who tries to live his life by a certain code. Part of that code is to never be silent when I see something I think is wrong. Like I said, I don’t live in a country that kills people who speak up. My life is not under existential threat. In fact, I would be in greater danger if I didn’t speak up, because I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the face if I didn’t speak up when I see things I cannot abide.
It would be different if I didn’t know heroes. But I do; one of them is the girl who founded Calgary United with Israel with me. She is 5-4 (maybe) and about a hundred pounds if you put some rocks in her pockets. She sometimes gets anxiety and she worries about a lot of stuff, yet when push comes to shove, she stands up for her people even when it’s against leaders in her community,She does things because its right, even when it goes against her natural inclinations. She is a hero to me.
I have a friend whose son is serving in the IDF. She organises events for her synagogue and she is very active in her community. When we had a flood in Calgary, she didn’t just come help us load trucks, with food and water, she made lunches for everyone who was volunteering. I know she worries constantly about her son, but she carries on doing things and she gets things done. She is a hero to me.
I know a girl who has lost several family members this year, to suicide, to health issues and to what we believe was a murder. She is living in a women’s shelter but she still volunteers in the community, and stands up and advocates for her people. She somehow maintains a positive attitude despite everything life throws at her and she stands up for all marginalised and oppressed peoples. She does work in the community. She is a hero to me.
I know a guy who went to jail in Egypt, for simply saying that people shouldn’t hate Jews. He has been insulted and scorned and accused of all sorts of perfidy, simply because he believes there is a better way to live than living with irrational hatred. Speaking up in his country is dangerous, but he does so loudly and clearly. He is a hero to me.
These are all heroes. Actual heroes.
I am writing this because when I was at an event last night, a woman said that I was her hero and that she thinks of me like the Bielskis. She said that people like me would have lead the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. All of these things are extremely complimentary as the Bielskis were heroes by any measure or definition, and there are no words adequate to describe the heroes of the Warsaw Ghetto. I hope I am never in a position to have to display heroism on that scale, but if I ever am, I can only hope to try to measure up. I would like to believe that I would fight; I’m not really built for hiding! My own family did fight against the government here, and we moved into the bush and survived for a generation so I guess we have a history and I have some role models.
One little old lady gave me a hug, and I almost lost it when she said “I just wanted to thank you because when I read your articles or hear you speak, I feel like we are not alone anymore.” This is not the first time someone has said this to me at an event, but it affects me the same way every time. I want her and people like her to know that as long as I have anything to say about it, they are not alone.
I try to make sure that people see real heroes. I have posted about my friend Izzy, who lost an arm, rehabbed and rejoined the army IN THE SPECIAL FORCES. To me, THAT’S A HERO. I have posted about my friends Kasim and Fred, a Pakistani Muslim and a Canadian Arab, who get a lot of flack from their communities and even families for speaking up on behalf of Israel, and my friend Dumisani who is an African American Christian Pastor, and if you don’t think he gets flack for his firm convictions, you aren’t paying attention.
There are heroes everywhere. They do not base their morals on the opinions of the majority. They do what is right regardless of consequences. They are my heroes and I am lucky to have them as examples of how to do things right. I think that the world is filled with heroes and I am hoping that more and more heroes will see their example and speak up.
