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Suffer the Mice!

In honour of tomorrow’s International Eat an Animal for PETA Day, the SMH brings the following news:

Australian terror suspect David Hicks occupied himself in jail by killing mice, according to a newspaper report.

I can almost imagine the inevitable PETA letter:

February 3, 2003

David Hicks,

Unfairly treated terror suspect

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba

1 page via facsimile: 972 7 282 2365

Your Excellency:

I am writing from an organization dedicated to fighting animal abuse around the world. We have received many calls and letters from people shocked at the news that you are catching and killing those cuddly friends of man – mice.

All people behave abominably in many ways when they are unjustly locked up by imperialist, Zionist enemies, and animals are always caught in the crossfire. For instance Israelis eat more hamburgers than any other nation in the Middle East. Also, the US own the hamburger stores in the Middle East.

Animals claim no nation. They are in perpetual involuntary servitude to all humankind, and although they pose no threat and own no weapons, human beings always win in the undeclared war against them. For animals, there is no Geneva Convention and no peace treatyójust our mercy.

We sympathize with your just cause. I am sure you tried to prevent the deaths of animals when you were fighting with the Taliban. And, as far as we know, no animals died needlessly on September 11, 2001. For this, we are eternally grateful.

If you have the opportunity, will you please add to your burdens my request that you try to occupy yourself with other pastimes. We would even be more than willing to send you riddles and puzzles. In fact, we have disclosed one with this letter, just to get you in the mood. Try and complete the following sentence.

K

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
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