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To Catch a Thief..

..shouldn’t be too hard if they are like these ones:

Three hooded bandits in eastern Australia bungled a robbery when they apparently mistook a restaurant’s sliding door for a swinging one, police said Monday.

 

About 20 diners at Gabby’s seafood restaurant in the coastal town of Gerringong watched as the trio repeatedly tried to kick the glass door open Saturday night, but they failed to enter and later fled in a stolen car.

 

Restaurant owner Greg Moore said the door was unlocked and clearly marked “slide.”

 

These might not have been your average criminals, police investigator Jamie Williams warned.

 

“They’re probably more dangerous because they’re dumb,” Williams said.

..or this one:

A man who robbed a bank by handing a teller a note demanding money written on one of his own checks was sentenced to 11 to 23 months in Cumberland County Prison for that and other crimes.

..or even this one:

A masked robber who beat his victim was remorseful enough to take the man to the hospital for treatment, but his change of heart didn’t last long. Within hours the thief was telephoning threats to the victim, who was an acquaintance, authorities said.

 

The attack happened Monday, according to a report to the Shelby County sheriff by victim Hollis Studdard.

 

Studdard was in his garage when he was struck from behind several times with a tree branch. He then grabbed the limb from his assailant, hit him back and recognized his attacker.

 

“I know it’s you, Michael,” he told the robber, who pulled off his ski mask and apologized, according to police reports.

 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” the attacker said. “You were supposed to get knocked out and I was going to take your wallet and truck.”

 

Studdard declined to give up his pickup keys.

 

“You’re bleeding,” the robber said. “I’m going to drive you to the hospital.”

 

He took Studdard to Baptist Memorial Hospital, gave Studdard the truck keys and walked away.

 

The sheriff departments in Shelby and Fayette counties are now looking for the robber, who later phoned threats to the victim’s home.

 

Update: Here’s a thief lucky to escape..but I suspect he’ll be having nightmares for a long time.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne today offered a £100,000 reward in a bid to retrieve the £2million of jewellery stolen in a burglary on their home.

 

The couple made an emotional appeal for help in tracing the stolen gems and bringing the criminal who snatched them to justice.

—-

Ozzy told last night how he thought about killing the burglar.

 

The raging rocker, who was naked, had the masked raider in a headlock as he tried to escape out of a window.

 

He said: “I thought for a mad split second ‘I could snap your neck like a straw’. But I couldn’t kill him.”

 

The burglar leapt 30ft from the window and fled. The break-in took place at 4am.

—-

Ozzy, who had got up to go the toilet, pounced on him and held him in a headlock.

 

He said: “He was choking, really choking. He was scared and so was I. I didn’t know if he was alone, if he had a knife or a gun.

 

“I thought for a mad split-second, ‘I could snap your neck like a straw, snap it and let you fall and say it was an accident’.

 

“But then I just let him drop. I couldn’t kill him, I couldn’t live with that on my conscience.”

—-

A police source said the rocker had initially screamed at the burglar: ‘I’ll f***ing kill you’.

 

When officers arrived, he was still in a rage, with a non-stop “stream of abuse” over the man he had held.

 

The source added: “He was calling him a ‘f*****g chicken.

 

“He was stark naked. The officers were surprised to say the least.”

I wonder what the thief was thinking as the man renowned for biting the head off a bat held him in a headlock.

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
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