Warning: This post is intended to p*ss off PETA. Contains graphic descriptions of toad cruelty.
In Australia, when someone tells you they need to go “flog the toad,” they are not being creepy.*
Residents in Australia’s Northern Territory are staging a day of action to stop marauding cane toads.
They are being encouraged to hunt and destroy these toxic pests, which have spread in plague-like numbers across tropical Australia.
The cane toads were introduced from South America 70 years ago in a failed attempt to eradicate cane beetles.
They are big, ugly creatures and their advance has taken them to the outskirts of Darwin.
Residents are being urged to defend the front-line on “Not In My Backyard Day”, which is sponsored by the Northern Territory government.
Federal MP Dave Tollner says that the toads deserve no mercy.
“I suggested that people should hit them with golf clubs or cricket bats or, you know, lumps of wood – whatever was at hand.
“Other people have suggested that you should put them in a box and then gas them with the exhaust of your car. The RSPCA also suggests chemical euthanasia.
“You know, to me it seems far easier just to flog them over the head with a lump of wood,” he says.
The toads have become a serious hazard to local wildlife.
Crocodiles have died after eating their toxic skin, while lizards have been no match for them either.
Safe to say that cane toads have few friends in Australia’s lush tropics.
“I think they’re really disgusting and the only fun bit about them is squashing them and killing them,” a schoolgirl says.
Asked whether she thinks that is a bit mean, she replies: “No, not to me… Because cane toads are disgusting!”
Australia’s RSPCA believes that these warty creatures are a menace and should be destroyed.
It recommends that they be smeared with haemorrhoid cream.
It contains a local anaesthetic that induces a coma.
The toads are then placed in a freezer and the job is done humanely.
If you do decide to go along with the RSPCA method of toad elimination, just ensure that blind little old ladies do not have access to the freezer in question.
* although I can’t speak for everyone
