Hearting the Mossad

Despite the Mossad probably not being in the good books of many countries around the world right now (at least officially), the Israeli spy agency is enjoying renewed popularity.

Twenty one-year-old Elad, who served in an Israel Defense Forces combat unit and resides in a kibbutz in southern Israel, has been dreaming about joining the Mossad for years.

On Thursday, following ongoing reports about the spy agency’s link to the assassination of senior Hamas figure Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in Dubai, he decided to finally pursue his dream. “I ran to the computer and applied for a job on the organization’s website,” Elad said with excitement.

“I’ve always had a dream to work for the Mossad,” he said, “It’s obvious why – it’s exciting, dangerous and special. Nobody really knows what people do there, and now I suddenly understand how it works – it’s cool. I hope they accept me; I think I have all the required skills.” As it turns out, there are many more just like him.

The Mossad website has become extremely popular in recent weeks, particularly its job openings page, through which one can apply for a position with the agency. Global media reports on Mossad’s alleged involvement in the assassination of the Hamas commander has led to a soaring number of civilian applicants who wish to join the secret service.

The agency, which did not post any new job openings for over six months, posted a statement on February 12 – almost a month after the Dubai operation – that read: “You have an opportunity to create a reality in which you play the lead role. If you possess, intelligence and sophistication, you can make a difference and fulfill a national and personal mission. If you can engage, charm and influence people – you may have the qualities we are looking for.”

As for the job requirements listed, the ideal candidate must hold an academic degree, diverse life experience, good communication skills, flexible thinking and creativity, curiosity, and the ability to work individually and in a team as well as good command of second language. A preference, the ad noted, would be given to those with a background abroad and willingness to leave for an immediate mission abroad, right after the training period.

According to media reports, the publication of the assassins’ pictures exposed almost a third of the Mossad’s “Kidon” hit team. Whether or not the reports are true, the agency is surely in need for some new recruits.

In many high schools around the country, the covert operation has become the main topic of discussion, said a high school teacher from Ashkelon. “My students only want to talk about this story. They keep looking at the pictures of the agents and the videos from the hotel. They can talk about it for hours; each student offers their perspective – it truly excites them,” she said.

In a response on behalf of the Mossad, the Prime Minister’s Office said, “We do not respond to media reports pertaining to the organization.”

Not to mention Mossad t-shirts!

I’m just glad the damage done by Adam Sandler seems to have been reversed.

16 thoughts on “Hearting the Mossad”

  1. Well, I don't think I qualify for service in the Mossad (and being American, I'm not inclined to risk committing treason by joining or providing illegal aid), but I think I'd feel honored if they should happen to steal my passport information and use it on a mission.

    1. Great idea buddy, you would feel honored that a terrorist organization goes out and commits extra judicial killings possibily putting you in future danger? real smart, Dont tell me, you also voted for Bush!! Ever heard of being put on trial, its what makes America who it is and Israel a pariah state.

      1. Michael Zvi Krumbein

        What it is.

        Extra-judicial? Did you ever hear of a word called W-A-R? Exactly how is this different that the sooting down of Yamamoto's plane in WWII?

        Or is your history as bad as your English?

        P.S. I voted for Bush, twice, and I'm proud of it. The only vote I'm ashamed of is the one time I voted for Clinton.

          1. Is your typing as bad as your voting record, Michael? And yes, Clinton had us all fooled. I thought he was a real Democrat who would stand up for working class people. Boy was I wrong about that!

          2. Michael Zvi Krumbein

            My voting record is also fine, except for when I got to the polls too late. My campaining record is even better, Richard Nixon is ’72. I stand by that 1000%, as McGovern (who lost 49 states) said about Eagleton.

            I guess I had to vote for Clinton once, given what I know know about what Bush did to Israel, including abstaining from a U.N. resolution that desclared the Israel had no rights in the Old City. My excuse for being a one-issue voter was that Bush had insulted me by calling me a lobbyist (the one lonely (little?) guy speech. But after Clinton gave an executive order (there’s where the real damage can be done, especially if the press is on your side) allowing fetal tissue research, I was sorry.

  2. Michael Zvi Krumbein

    I see one of the right-wing tee shirt sites (U.S.) has a page offering shirts with an Israeli army logo. Anyone know of any left-wing sites that has this?

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