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From Here To Paternity

Old and busted: Palestinian remote detonation

New hotness: Palestinian remote impregnation

An increasing amount of prisoners serving long-term sentences are looking for new ways to have children from their prison cells, the Center for Prisoners Studies reported Saturday.

Incredibly, the center says prisoners who are married and jailed for long terms are now even attempting to smuggle sperm out in order for their wives to conceive children.

These attempts have usually failed due to logistical problems and the short life span of sperm not kept in the right temperature.

That could change in the coming days — the wife of a prisoner has become pregnant, according to the center. She is expected to give birth soon, the group says.

I wonder what visual stimulus they are using to extract the sperm. A Barbie koran?

Meanwhile, if I were that prisoner, I’d demand a paternity test.

Just sayin’.

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