More results...

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

More results...

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

Game Review: Angry Jew

What would you do if you were an orthodox Jew sent back in a time machine to 19th century Russia? Fighting against the pogroms while trying to save as many books as possible?

That is the story of the subject of this week’s¹ instalment of Israellycool Game Reviews, a fascinating game called “Angry Jew”. Available now on Google Play.

Angry Jew
Stepping on that dude’s head relieves his anger

¹Read: First and only.

In this game, you play Mendel as he’s sent back to Russia in the 19th century. The Shtreimel sporting Orthodox Jewish cousin of the White Spy in Spy vs. Spy runs through side-scrolling levels jumping pits, sliding under floating piles of rocks and punching Cossacks. The goal is to collect as many books and Challah as you make it to the end of the level which is a time machine. Pretty basic stuff.

Following in the footsteps of Mario and Sonic who collect coins. Mendel collects the lost books of Jewish history and knotted Sabbath bread. Meaning we can conclude that all Italian plumbers and hedgehogs are penny pinching cheapskates.

According to a Times of Israel interview, the trickiest part of developing the game was maximizing entertainment while minimizing offensiveness. But it was “Made By Jews” so let’s assume that it’s squeaky clean and contains nothing but pure enjoyment for the whole Mishpocha. Let’s play.

First let’s get some advice from what I assume is an unnamed Elder of Zion. Let’s call him Ralph Christianson Al-Baghdadi Singh Nguyen.

angry jew advice 1
Oy! Such wit!

OK, level 1.

Angry Jew Level 1

Here we are. Mendel arrives T-800 style into the level. Let’s hit the GO button and HOLY SHTETL we’re running. OK how do I stop? I can’t! We’re running! K wait go back.. no you can’t. Hey check it out! It says ???? in the … aaand I’m dead.

Angry Jew died
Yitgadal veyitkadash shmei rabah…

OK, as soon as you get the hang of the fact that you’re running and you’re not stopping, you learn some new moves. How to jump, punch, slide, use pigs as trampolines, mid-air double jump because Jews can do that, and of course the one move all Haradim are known for, the 360 degree flying drop kick.

The game, all in all, is fun. The sound effects are amusing, and the game gets quite addictive after about 10 minutes for no reason.

That is until you get to level 21 and the controls stick and you just want to throw your phone across the room. If you’re not already antisemitic, level 21 will make you antisemitic and join ISIS. Level 21 is the most frustrating pile of… DAMN YOU LEVEL 21!!!

I hate this game.

Rating: 

Level 1-20: ???1/2

Level 21: Negative a billion.

About the author

Picture of Deebo

Deebo

I'm a Canadian Israeli, Aliyah Class of '10. You may know me as tweeter @notantisemitic but here I'll tickle your Zionist bone in other ways.
Picture of Deebo

Deebo

I'm a Canadian Israeli, Aliyah Class of '10. You may know me as tweeter @notantisemitic but here I'll tickle your Zionist bone in other ways.
Scroll to Top