Satire warning
Gaza City – Israeli forces announced a critical discovery this morning with far-reaching ramifications. Soldiers in the IDF’s Combat Engineer Battalion operating in tunnels 30 meters below Gaza City have uncovered a closet belonging to Palestinian Media Personality Mohammed El-Kurd. The Daily Freier spoke with Captain “Yossi”, an embedded IDF Public Affairs Officer as he briefed the Media via Zoom.
“We must be very cautious.” whispered Captain Yossi as troops gingerly approached the structure. “We believe that Mr. El-Kurd is hiding in the closet at this very moment.”
The Daily Freier asked Captain Yossi exactly how long they believe Mr. Al-Kurd has been hiding in the closet. Captain Yossi shuffled through some discarded Tortit candy wrappers, sunflower seed husks, and Turkish coffee grounds, scratched his chin for a moment and responded. “About 25-and-a-half -years.”
As the briefing continued, Captain Yossi turned to another IDF Officer who was speaking into a megaphone from behind sandbags. “Mohammed El-Kurd, we have you surrounded. It’s time for you to come out of the closet. I repeat. Mr. El-Kurd: Come out of the closet.“
The Daily Freier tried to reach out to Mr. El-Kurd, but it seems he deleted any evidence of his closet on social media.
