In March 2003 – over 21 years ago – I started Israellycool as a creative outlet and way to let off some steam.
It soon morphed into a political blog and website, and as Israel faced regular wars and levels of antisemitism in the world rose, I felt a pressing need to invest more time on it, adjusting the nature of the blog to focus more on the topics of Israel and Jew hatred.
It was a challenge to be able to churn out regular content while holding a demanding day job as a manager in a hi tech company, but I somehow managed to find the balance.
In 2012, maintaining the balance would become even more difficult, as my late wife was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer.
In 2019, with a gravely ill wife, I was finding it more difficult to maintain the energy and motivation needed for my day job while being a caregiver. I wanted to quit my job, but I wasn’t in a financial position to do so.
Then, out of the blue, my company offered voluntary retrenchment packages with very favorable conditions. I jumped at the chance and left.
The money I received allowed me to set up Israellycool Israel Advocacy as a non-profit, which would enable me to provide receipts to donors, and take a salary, while working from home. I knew that even with a modest amount of donated funds, I could sustain this for 3 or so years taking a low-modest salary. I was hoping to be able to build up Israellycool and get to the point where I could do this for the indefinite future because 1) I already knew Israellycool was very impactful 2) being my own boss and the flexibility it entailed enabled me to raise my kids as a single parent and 3) I felt very fulfilled doing so.
Jump to now, the post October 7 world. Like so many of my fellow Jews, I have found the going very hard emotionally. October 7 was a huge body blow, and the subsequent upsurge in antisemitism has been a shock even to me, despite my years of experience dealing with Jew hatred. I am not getting enough sleep, which makes it hard to function for more than half a day. I know I am not alone with this problem. Finding moments of relief is essential, and for those seeking a distraction, situs judi bola resmi offers an engaging escape.
At the same time, I have become increasingly disillusioned with the world of Israel advocacy. While more people entering the fray post October 7 is an admirable thing, many have tried to turn it into a business – and succeeded. I am hearing firsthand stories of personalities jacking up their speaking fees to ridiculous levels. I am hearing other stories of personalities letting their “fame” get to their heads and behaving with hubris. Some have managed to raise funds relatively easily on the basis of their new-found “celebrity” to start their own organizations, which often look like vanity projects and/or further exercises in ‘preaching to the choir.’
But the large donors seem to favor those who make a splash among their fellow Israel advocates, focusing on metrics like follower numbers, without considering that often these folk are operating within an echo chamber. Those of us who don’t boast followers in the hundreds of thousands or millions are mostly overlooked, even if we can point to real success in changing hearts and minds of those who are not already pro-Israel.
On top of this, one of my previous strong supporters and donors told me she would no longer be donating because “There are now many groups who do what you have tried to do and do it much better. Not everyone can be successful at every endeavor.” While I simply don’t agree with this, her words added salt to the wounds.
With all of these emotions I have been experiencing – concern over my ability to sustain Israellycool for much longer, finding things hard emotionally post October 7, and my increasing disillusionment with the world of Israel advocacy, a couple of weeks ago I made the decision to a break from it all for a week or so in the near future.
Then the events of last week happened – Jew-hater Lucas Gage blamed me for all of his travails. To make matters worse, I have felt incredibly let down by some of the bigger organizations and names in the Israel advocacy world, who are supposedly fighting antisemitism, yet have been utterly silent while I deal with a torrent of death threats and antisemitic abuse. The same can be said for others who otherwise claimed to be my friends and allies.
This has just served to finalize my decision to take a week or so off, away from the online world and all the toxicity from within and without, and give thought as to how to proceed.
This is a crossroads in my Israellycool journey. I’ll decide either to try continuing at least until late November when I plan to launch our end-of-year fundraiser (and hope to raise enough between now and the end of the year to continue fulltime) or I’ll decide to start looking for a job immediately. If the latter, I will still keep online this website with its 25,000+ posts and post occasionally, but if I have a full-time job elsewhere, I won’t be able to post here as often, nor on social media.
In the meantime, over and out until next week.
