Comedian Larry David has been notoriously quiet when it comes to the Israel-palestinian Arab conflict, and judging by his liberal views, one could surmise he is probably not the biggest fan of the Jewish state.
True, he somewhat dealt with it in a famous episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm called Palestinian Chicken, but it didn’t really give insight into his personal views. But it was a classic!
But now Larry has written a piece taking aim at the Democratic Socialists of America, which includes mocking their anti-Israel – heck, antisemitic – views:
The D.S.A. has great respect for religious traditions. Because of our burgeoning Muslim population, we want to take all measures to give these people a strong sense of belonging in America. Along those lines, we’ll require that all Caucasian women wear a hijab on weekends in solidarity with their Muslim sisters. In addition, Jews will no longer be allowed to refer to themselves as “the Chosen People.” Henceforth, their new nickname will be “the Bagel People.”
We strongly believe in a two-state solution. To this end, we propose that Palestinians should be given all the land currently occupied by Israel and that Israel should be given Pitcairn Island in the South Pacific, where the weather is beautiful and grapefruits are aplenty. We think the Bagel People will be very happy there.
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We Democratic Socialists love to laugh … but not at the expense of others. The last thing we want is for any person to be offended by a joke that targets them or someone they know. No one should ever have their feelings hurt. Consequently, any comedian who is responsible for causing emotional discomfort in any way will be sent to a facility where they will be re-programmed and hopefully emerge with a greater awareness of the sensitivities of their fellow citizens. If, however, the re-programming is unsuccessful, the repeat offender will be sent to Pitcairn Island to live with the Bagel People.
I am not sure what brought on this “coming out” by Larry; perhaps it was seeing his good friend Jerry Seinfeld repeatedly attacked by the Free Palestine zombies. Whatever the reason, it wasn’t on my 2026 bingo card, but was
