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The Passion of the Fool

Coming to a computer screen near you..the Lord.

Hartland man was treated at a Pittsfield hospital after he nailed himself to a cross. The 23-year-old man apparently was trying to commit suicide Thursday evening in his living room, the Bangor Daily News reported.

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Police said the man appeared delusional and told them he had been “seeing pictures of God on the computer.”

Imagine the photoshop opportunities there.

Despite the man’s determination, it would seem that he didn’t quite think things through sufficiently.

Lt. Pierre Boucher said the man took two pieces of wood, nailed them together in the form of a cross and placed them on the floor. He attached a suicide sign to the wood and then proceeded to nail one of his hands to the makeshift cross using a 14-penny nail and a hammer.

“When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911,” Boucher said.

And to think, all of this could have been avoided with a bit more thought and planning.

There are still some unresolved questions, though.

It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.

With that all said and done, the man will not be charged.

Somerset County Sheriff Barry DeLong said Monday that no charges will be filed. “There is no crime here,” he said.

Unless stupidity is a crime.

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
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