C’mon, already! We know he has been dead since last week. Just announce it, so we don’t have to be reminded of him every time the news is broadcast.
Over the past week, we have been subjected to so many different versions of his condition – from “he is just sleeping” to “his coma is deepening” to “coma? what coma?” to “he’s brain dead but on life support” – that perhaps more people will realize that the PLO Arabs have a great aversion to telling the truth. Here’s the latest one:
Palestinian Foreign Minister Nabil Sha’ath put an end Tuesday to nearly two weeks of speculation by declaring Palestinian Authority Chairman Yasser Arafat’s life in a Paris hospital was “now in the hands of God and his doctors.”
Another lie of course. For a start, he is nowhere near G-d. And secondly, everyone knows G-d does not have any doctors.
Meanwhile, Ha’aretz report that the PA will make the announcement this morning. Here are the top 5 most appropriate ways in which his death should be announced (inspired by these).
1. “He is giving an obolus to Sharon..err..I mean Charon.”
2. “He is sleeping with the Arafishes.”
3. “He has reservations at the Muqata eternity.”
4. “He is sampling the French Onion Soup with a salmonella spoon.”
5. “He is basting the Halal formaldehyde turkey.”
Update: PA Foreign Minister Nabil Shaath gets ready to announce Terrorfat’s death….
“It pains me to announce that President Arafat has d-..”
When he is suddenly interrupted by an aide..
“Umm, Mr Shaath, Ahmed wants you to delay the announcement until tomorrow morning. He said something about Suha blocking the path to the life support machine.”
Shaath quickly tries to divert everyone’s attention so he can make a run for it..
“Hey! Look everybody..spider!!.”
“I can’t bear to look. I am scared of spiders!”
(Pictures courtesy of Reuters)
10.45AM: This blogger has evidently had the same thoughts as me. And to think I might have gotten my Instalanche had I just photoshopped it!
French officials who have been following Yasser Arafat’s treatment were astonished to discover that Suha Arafat’s constant companion and financial adviser was none other than Pierre Rizk, who headed the intelligence service of the Phalanga during the Lebanese civil war and was in close personal contact with the guerrilla group responsible for the massacre at the Sabra and Shatilla refugee camp in 1982.Rizk has been spotted in or near Percy Hospital in recent days. Since Rizk holds power of attorney for Suha Arafat, French and Palestinian officials have been in constant contact with him over Suha Arafat’s financial demands, which she says are designed to ensure the financial future of her and her daughter. The outcome of these contacts is still not clear.Rizk, a Maronite Lebanese, is well known to Israeli officials, and has spent long periods in Israel where he met with government officials and private business figures. Israelis who have met with him in person describe him as a colorful figure, and say that he is something of a womanizer.Because of his position within the Phalangas, he has extensive contacts with several international intelligence agencies. Living in Paris since his exile from Lebanon, Rizk is an international businessman with operations in Europe and the United States.In 1999, Rizk won a legal suit he filed in the U.S. courts against the PA. The suit, which created quite a stir in financial circles in the PA, was based on a promise made to Rizk by Yasser Arafat just before the signing of the Oslo Accords in 1993, that he would be granted the license to develop the communications infrastructure in the West Bank.
As Miriam puts it:
Suha cheats on Arafat with a man who once won $18m. from Arafat in a lawsuit, and almost toppled the PA — and he’s the one who will effectively determine when Suha feels financially secure enough to pull the plug??????
12:55PM: You just have to love Australian Prime Minister John Howard.
Prime Minister John Howard said neither he nor any of his ministers would attend Yasser Arafat’s funeral when the critically ill Palestinian leader dies.“There would be appropriate representation but it certainly would not be at ministerial level,” Howard said.
1:00PM: This is headline of the day:
Ok, we have the pitchforks, flames, pliers and chainsaws. I think you should also turn up the temperature up a notch…say 500 degrees?
5:15PM: Compare and contrast this:
The Palestinians refuse to discuss the burial issue while Arafat is alive, although they are expected to insist on a burial in Jerusalem.
With this:
A top Muslim cleric has rushed to Yasser Arafat’s bedside in a French hospital, insisting the veteran Palestinian leader is still alive even as aides pushed ahead with burial preparations.
Maybe they do “want to bury him alive” after all.
