With pretty much everyone blaming Syria for the assassination of Rafiq Hariri, the former President of Lebanon, Syria is predictably pointing the finger at Israel.
In an Israellycool exclusive, I have managed to find an interview with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad:
Interviewer: Pretty much everyone is blaming Syria for the assassination of former Lebanon President Rafiq Hariri. How do you respond to these accusations?Assad: It was clearly the work of the Zionists. Why would we assassinate him?Interviewer: How about because of his opposition to Syria’s involvement in Lebanon’s domestic affairs, or to serve as a warning to France.Assad: No. I am sure it was the Zionists. Besides, we were the first to condemn the attack.Interviewer: Yes. But you condemned it before it occurred.Assad: *Cough* Look over there (pointing). Zionists.Interviewer I don’t think anyone believes that Israel was behind the attack. For a start, it looks like a suicide bombing, which is not a tactic that Israel ever uses.Assad: No, no. The Zionists invented the suicide bomber. They use them, and then blame it on our Palestinian brothers. Just like now they are trying to have us blamed.Interviewer: It does not seem believable.Assad. You do not think the Zionists are capable of this? Yet they were able to cause a Tsunami in Asia.Interviewer: You are accusing Israel of being behind the Tsunami?Assad: It was clearly the Zionists. Did you notice how no Zionists were killed, just like when they destroyed the Twin Towers in New York?Interviewer: But there were Israelis killed…Assad: *Cough* Look over there (pointing). Zionists.Interviewer: It is ridiculous to suggest that Israel was behind the Tsunami and the World Trade Center attacks.Assad: Why? It is small stuff for the inventors of cancer and the AIDS virus..Interviewer: Sorry but we have run out of time. Thank you, President Assad.Assad:..and hiccups, bad gas, black jelly beans, Gigli,…
