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Hitting the Egyptians Where it Hurts

From the makers of Zionist Death SharksTM comes Zionist Jellyfish of DeathTM

Zionist jellyfishInterviewer: That much we know. What made it go into this alley?

Mustafa Ismail: The real question is: Who made it go into the alley? I will talk about something else, and then come back to this. Do you remember that when we were kids, the jellyfish in Alexandria would sting? Back home, in Al-Ghardaqa and in the Red Sea, you could roll the jellyfish in your hands and nothing would happen. Okay? There are all kinds of jellyfish. We would cut them up with a knife and use them for fish bait.

For some years now, there is a phenomenon nobody is talking about. Killing, paralyzing jellyfish have appeared in Al-Ghardaqa and on the Red Sea. Who brought these jellyfish there?

Interviewer: Who?

Mustafa Ismail: Who indeed? Who brought the sharks there? Even if this is a baby shark that got lost and passed through the Mandab Strait, could it possibly have continued like a peaceful angel, flapping its fins, all the way to the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Shark Al-Sheik, in order to attack there? Why didn’t it attack at Masra Alam or Brothers Islands? Why didn’t it attack there? I have been diving at Sharm Al-Sheik for 50 years, and there has not been a single shark attack on any living creature.

Go ahead and say it, don’t make gestures. Out with it.

Interviewer: I already asked you who, and you started telling me jellyfish stories.

Mustafa Ismail: Who? I will be even more frank. I’m not afraid of anyone.

Interviewer: Go ahead.

Mustafa Ismail: Two or three months ago, an Israeli diver said to me…

Interviewer: What diver?

Mustafa Ismail: An Israeli diver. We work with everybody.

Interviewer: Without any problem?

Mustafa Ismail: It doesn’t matter to us.

Interviewer: How can it not bother you?

Mustafa Ismail: Just listen to me for a moment. He told me that they had found a baby shark of a certain species opposite the Eilat port. Whey they found it, they saw it had a GPS device on it.

Interviewer: A guiding device?

Mustafa Ismail: Yes, on its back. Anyone else would have ignored it, but not us. Whoever brought these sharks to us from the ocean… From the Mandab Strait, there are about 4,000 kilometers, so how come there were incidents only around Sinai?

Interviewer: So how did it get all the way to Eilat?

Mustafa Ismail: You wanted to hear the true story, so I will tell you. There are some friendly neighboring countries, which do not wish us well at all. I am not talking about the conspiracy theories of the days of Abd Al-Nasser. This conspiracy continues and will continue to all eternity, until Allah bequeaths the land… The conspiracy continues.

For three months, we have been hearing that country [Israel] warning its citizens to leave the Sinai as quickly as possible. You can check how many Israelis left Sinai in haste at the Tourism Chamber. It was as if they were fleeing an Apartheid or something.

But if you think bringing killer sea creatures to Egyptian waters isn’t enough, not to worry. We have also apparently used our Zionist cunning to steal from Egyptian religion and culture.

Bwaaaaaa!

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
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