Ding Dong The Kim Jong Is Dead


Kim Jong Il. But now he’s dead.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-il died on Saturday on a train trip, a tearful state television announcer, dressed in black, reported on Monday.

In a “special broadcast” Monday from the North Korean capital, state media said Kim died of a heart ailment on a train due to a “great mental and physical strain” on Dec. 17 during a “high intensity field inspection.” It said an autopsy was done on Dec. 18 and “fully confirmed” the diagnosis.

Death by heart ailment on a train due to a “great mental and physical strain..during a high intensity field inspection” ? I can’t say I really thought that’s how he’d die:

Aussie Dave’s Kim Jong Il Death Odds

2:1 – Tripping over in his platform shoes

5:1 – Blood poisoning due to his hair dye

7:1 – Falling in to his crocodile pool while trying to feed them his enemies

10:1 – Bursting a blood vessel while watching Team America

20:1 – Photoshopping himself to death

1000:1 – Heart ailment on a train due to a great mental and physical strain during a high intensity field inspection

Meanwhile, in case you are wondering who’s the next-of-Kim:

The reclusive state had begun the process of transferring power to his son Kim Jong-un, believed to be in his late 20s.

I find it really appropriate that he has “UN” in his name.

Update: Footage of North Koreans weeping at the news.

And cut!

Please help ensure Israellycool can keep going,
by donating one time or monthly

An Aussie immigrant to Israel, David Lange is founder and managing editor of Israellycool. He is a happy family man, and a lover of steak, Australian sports and single malt whisky.