Ding Dong The Kim Jong Is Dead


Kim Jong Il. But now he’s dead.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-il died on Saturday on a train trip, a tearful state television announcer, dressed in black, reported on Monday.

In a “special broadcast” Monday from the North Korean capital, state media said Kim died of a heart ailment on a train due to a “great mental and physical strain” on Dec. 17 during a “high intensity field inspection.” It said an autopsy was done on Dec. 18 and “fully confirmed” the diagnosis.

Death by heart ailment on a train due to a “great mental and physical strain..during a high intensity field inspection” ? I can’t say I really thought that’s how he’d die:

Aussie Dave’s Kim Jong Il Death Odds

2:1 – Tripping over in his platform shoes

5:1 – Blood poisoning due to his hair dye

7:1 – Falling in to his crocodile pool while trying to feed them his enemies

10:1 – Bursting a blood vessel while watching Team America

20:1 – Photoshopping himself to death

1000:1 – Heart ailment on a train due to a great mental and physical strain during a high intensity field inspection

Meanwhile, in case you are wondering who’s the next-of-Kim:

The reclusive state had begun the process of transferring power to his son Kim Jong-un, believed to be in his late 20s.

I find it really appropriate that he has “UN” in his name.

Update: Footage of North Koreans weeping at the news.

And cut!

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A lawyer by education, David Lange - founder and managing editor of Israellycool - found his calling in advocating for Israel and the Jewish people. He is available for public speaking engagements.