Intercepted Communications When Six Is Not Enough

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UN Gen Assembly vote 6 anti israel votes unwatch Golan-2015I can’t reveal where this comes from, but a secret sauce of mine (we’ll use the code name “ElleS”) has managed to intercept private communication sent to Ban Ki Moon at the UN.

It seems that the UN General Assembly passing 6 anti-Israel resolutions (and none against anyone else) has upset some people.

Oct. 24, 2015 
Ban-Ki moon
Secretary General  
United Nations
 
Dear Secretary General,
 
We were very disappointed that the UN General Assembly only passed 6 anti-Israel resolutions. Perhaps if the UN had allowed countries other than Syria and the Palestinian Authority to table condemnations against Israel, the UN could have passed at least 18 well deserved anti-Israel resolutions.
 
I’m sure you are aware that the number 18 which means life is a holy number to Jews, so passing 18 anti-Israel resolutions would have increased Israel’s discomfort. Failure to fully humiliate Israel can be corrected.
 
If it’s not too late, I would like to suggest some anti-Israel resolutions that the General Assembly can pass the next time it is in session.
 
1: Israel should be indicted for the racist act of not raping Palestinian women. The refusal of the IDF personnel to rape Arab women reflects the IDF’s attitude that Arab women are unclean. This racism must be condemned.
 
2: Israel must be censured for providing medical treatment to injured Syrians. Moving these people to Israeli hospitals shows them that Israelis are normal people not the bloodthirsty devils Syrians are taught to hate. Accepting Israelis as human beings destabilizes the whole region. It is a Zionist plot.
 
3: Israel must be condemned for its daily call to the Palestinians to negotiate with it for peace. The discomfort this causes the Palestinians should be recognized and exposed as a psychological war crime.
 
4: A resolutions should be tabled about Israel’s overreaction to the tiny pin pricks inflicted on them by Palestinians agitated by Israeli ‘occupation’. Israeli security personnel should be instructed to wait until the knifer’s arms are tired before apprehending the knifers, rather than shooting them in mid slash.
 
5: Israel must be censured for gathering intelligence about the locations and supply routes of Hezbollah’s rockets and missiles. This warlike intrusion into the stratosphere above Lebanon is an act of war. Perhaps you could get Hezbollah’s employer Iran to table this resolution.
 
6: Israel must be condemned for refusing to shoot at women and children used by Hamas soldiers as human shields. This denial of propaganda opportunities demeans Hamas and the people of Gaza.
 
Mr. Secretary General, We have other powerful outrages committed by Israel. Please contact us for the complete list, we want to help.
 
Kaluha Akhbar,
 
Hossien Hassein Hussein,
Exectutive Director
JewWatch
Ramallah Palestine 0666        

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Brian of London is not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy. Since making aliyah in 2009, Brian has blogged at Israellycool. Brian is an indigenous rights activist fighting for indigenous people who’ve returned to their ancestral homelands and built great things.