Iran Discovers Our Zionist Death Lizardsᵀᴹ
Damn! The Iranians are on to us.
Hassan Firuzabadi, senior military advisor to supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, was responding to questions from local media on the recent arrest of environmentalists.
He said he did not know the details of the cases, but that the West had often used tourists, scientists and environmentalists to spy on Iran.
“Several years ago, some individuals came to Iran to collect aid for Palestine… We were suspicious of the route they chose,” he told the reformist ILNA news agency.
“In their possessions were a variety of reptile desert species like lizards, chameleons… We found out that their skin attracts atomic waves and that they were nuclear spies who wanted to find out where inside the Islamic republic of Iran we have uranium mines and where we are engaged in atomic activities,” he said.
Of course, what they have not quite worked out yet is that our Zionist Death LizardsTM are basically just regular agents who did not use their cloaking devices.
Alternatively, the only creatures involved in this story are bats – as in batshit crazy.