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Practical Jihad For Dummies

Some of you may be familiar with the following riddle:

An electric train is moving north at 100kph and a wind is blowing to the west at 10kph. Which way does the smoke blow?

The answer is electric trains don’t have smoke, but that’s not the point. Meet the Hamas version of this riddle:

“A truck is moving at a rate of 15 meters per second, at a distance of 200 meters, from left to right. How will you succeed in hitting this truck?”

This question is part of a new Hamas e-learning course for the self-respecting, would-be jihad fighter.

The Islamist Hamas terrorist organization has initiated an online course in explosives, military weapons and tactics for would-be jihad fighters. Aimed at the population of the Palestinian Authority, the course is called “Get Ready” and is designed to prepare the population for war with Israel.

First exposed outside Palestinian Authority and jihadist circles on Monday by Israel’s Channel 10 TV, the sophisticated course includes highly detailed practical and theoretical lessons, as well as sample videos of jihadist attacks. All manner of weapons are described, analyzed and their proper use explained by masked Hamas instructors.

Students also learn about such things as the manufacture and detonation of explosives, the functioning of rocket launchers, weak points on IDF tanks, and the physics of firing at a moving vehicle. Lessons cover possible scenarios such as an IDF ground incursion into Hamas-controlled Gaza or an airborne Israeli commando assault.

Each instructive section concludes with test questions. For example, a fatigues-wearing Hamas teacher asks, “A truck is moving at a rate of 15 meters per second, at a distance of 200 meters, from left to right. How will you succeed in hitting this truck?”

In its report, the Channel 10 correspondent speculated that the instruction was not only intended to teach Hamas members to more effectively fight Israel, but also to prepare them for confrontation with the rival PA terrorist movement, Fatah. Such a confrontation has already occurred periodically in recent years, but Hamas hopes that an armed clash with PA Chairman’s Fatah forces in Judea and Samaria would end with the Islamists in control of the entire PA.

In an Israellycool exclusive, I have found some more of the courses’ test questions:

  • “A man is found hanged in a room. He is still hanging from a rope attached to a hook in the ceiling. Beneath him is a puddle of water. No other furniture in the room. All windows and doors locked from the inside. Wouldn’t it have saved time to just behead him?”
  • “There are three apples, you take away 2. Which hand should be cut off?”
  • “Every day the man saw his dog ran into the woods. However, he noticed that the dog never ran more than halfway into the woods. Why is this man allowed to have a dog?”

About the author

Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
Picture of David Lange

David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media
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