Israel Agrees To All BDS Terms

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The BDS Movement has won a landmark victory in what is called a historic decision in which the Israeli Government has unanimously voted in favour of agreeing to all BDS terms.

When the bill was introduced by MK Hanin Zoabi, most Knesset members were quick to jump on board.

“I believe the major turning point was when Sinead O’Conner cancelled her show in Israel in support of the boycott movement.” said Ayelet Shaked, a member of the formerly right wing Beit HaYehudi party.

“When Sinead cancelled, it created a shockwave through Knesset that really had us re-examining ourselves.”

Implementation of the new law will involve dismantling the protective barrier that has completely halted suicide bombings, awarding the Palestinians with a state with all of Jerusalem as a capital, a Gaza seaport for uninterrupted Iranian missile import and full right of return for all 6 generations of descendants of Arabs who left their homes so that Israel can be destroyed unhindered.

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Sinead O’Conner was scheduled to play in Caesaria on September 11, 2014 and backed out due to pressure from the pro-Palestinian group.

“There is a bit of give and take in this situation. Sure, our national security is now completely non-existent, but Israelis would give it up in a moment just to hear ‘Nothing Compares To U’ live.”

No word yet on if O’Conner has decided to reschedule her performance.

Oh calm down, it’s Purim. You know it’s satire. 

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