Airline Feline

I have seen many things on El Al flights, but never something like this.  

vicious catWhat could possibly surprise a first class passenger in EL-AL’s luxurious, comfortable and quiet cabin? Perhaps a cloud or maybe an air pocket…that’s what “S.A.” thought when he purchased such a prestigious ticket for a flight to New York in January this year.

He was looking forward to the promised rest and EL-AL luxury because he was anticipating hectic business days prior to the trip. El Al boasts that their hyper-comfortable first-class seats are manufactured in France [known for its first class seats?], and the seats turn into fully flat beds to allow for rest and sleep during the flight.

Indeed, the passenger settled down in his first class seat and prepared to sleep to reinvigorate himself for the coming days.

While the passenger peacefully slept, a cat suddenly emerged from a lower class section of the aircraft, and in a wild, rancorous rampage, attacked the passenger. Even after the feline predator was caught, the passenger could not clam down nor return to rest or sleep.

His expensive first class investment proved a great disappointment. What made this debacle even more catastrophic, was that the it turned out that the cat belonged to a “tourist” class passenger and had made the long journey up to first class, unimpeded.

How can an animal be removed from it’s cage against regulations? How could the animal have made the long trip possible from tourist class to first class without being caught? Why is there no barrier preventing an animal’s entrance to first class? What does EL-AL have to say?

Upon his return to Israel, “S.A.” penned an angry letter El-AL, describing the sequence of events and he received an apology call from El Al. However, “S.A.” felt he had not received his money’s value for the traumatic flight, and contacted his attorney demanding that EL-AL provide a compensatory first-class ticket to the same destination.

El Al refused to compensate him for the exceptional event.

El AL’s response:

“As explained directly to the applicant, according to airline regulations, passengers may fly accompanied by animals weighing up to 8 kg, while in a cage or bag adapted to them. Although we are careful to instruct the passengers that animals must stay in their cage or bag during the whole flight, one passenger on the flight in question, contrary to the guidelines, released the cat.

Upon seeing the cat’s emergence from it’s cage, the flight service crew immediately warned the cat’s owner and told her to return the pet to its cage.

El Al apologized for the inconvenience and annoyance caused by the passenger.”

I can confirm that what actually happened was a mishap involving our latest weapon: Zionist Death Cat,TM which are specifically trained to attack airline hijackers upon hearing certain things, such as “Don’t move! This is a hijack!” and “Allahu Akbar” (future versions of the cat will also be able to attack passengers who refuse to refrain from speaking on their cell phones during flights, or refuse to put on their seat belts and sit down during takeoff and landing).

I guess the passenger in question talks in their sleep. Either that, or he smells of milk.


David Lange

A law school graduate, David Lange transitioned from work in the oil and hi-tech industries into fulltime Israel advocacy. He is a respected commentator and Middle East analyst who has often been cited by the mainstream media

israellycool causematch 2023

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