That’s No Moose

Meet the eBay seller who mistook a Chai pendant for a – wait for it – vintage Navajo moose (hat tip: 6 Degrees No Bacon).

Click to enlarge

What a bunch of bullwinkle.

Update: The whole Indian/Judaism confusion reminds me of this classic scene (or at least the first 20 seconds) from the Frisco Kid.

Update: This from Blazing Saddles (hat tip: hasefardi on Twitter)

15 thoughts on “That’s No Moose”

  1. REPEAT:

    A mol iz geven drai Indians.

    Di mama, Pocayenta, der tate, Geronowitz, und di tokhter, Minihorowitz. Ein tog, kumt aheim Minihorowitz und zogt, “Mama, ikh vil heretn!”

    “Heretn! ‘siz shoin tsait! Du bist yest an alte moid! Sekhtsen yor alt! Ver iz der bokher?”

    “Oi, Mama, hob ikh getofn mit a bokher! Shtark, heldish, …”

    “Vos iz zain nomen?”

    “Sitting Bulvon.”

    “Vos far a yikhus hot er?”

    “Zain tate iz Meshigine Ferd, der gantser macher fun di Schvartsfus tribe.”

    “Oi, veln mir hobn a khasene! Alle di Shvartsfus, alle di Shmohawks, und di gantse mishpoche… Oy oy oy, mir hobn ein tsore!”

    “Vos iz di mer?”

    “Di tsipi iz nisht grois genuk far alle di gestn fun khasene. Geronowitz! Geronowitz, shtei af dem tuches und gei krig far mir a buffalo!”

    “Farvus vilstu a buffalo?”

    “Mitn fleish fun buffalo, ken ikh makhen a gut gedempte buffalo tsimis. Und mitn pelts ken ikh makhen groiser di tsipi, und mir veln kenen ainleidn di gantse velt tsum khasene!”

    Geit avek Geronowitz. Ein tog. Tsvei tog. Nisht kin Geronowitz. A vokh shpeter, kumpt aheim Geronowitz, mit gornisht in zain hent.

    “Shimeil! Vu iz main buffalo?” zogt Pocayente.

    “Du und dain buffalo tsimis! Ikh hob eikh beide in bod!”

    “Vos iz di mer?”

    “Ershtn tog, hob ikh gezen a buffalo. Nit grois genuk far tsipi, nit gut genug far tsimis. Tsveitn tug, hob ikh gezen anandere buffalo. Gut genuk, grois genuk, ober mit aza farfoilte pelts! A mieskait fun a buffalo, hob ikh keinmol nit gezen! A por mer teg, hob ikh gezen anandere buffalo. Grois genuk, gut genuk, a perfect buffalo!”

    “Nu, vuden?”

    “Vuden? Bin ikh gegangn tsu shokhetn de buffalo. Hob ikh gekukt in main tash, und Goyishe Kop! Ikh hob genumen mit mir di milkhedike tomahawk!”

    1. Kelev Navajo lo nashakho.
      ??? ????? ?? ?????

      As long as it’s not a moose limb, I don’t care what it looks like. 😉

  2. i am a long time reader of this great blog and i hope my first posting did not come off as rude but i felt if you are going to start somewhere might as well have something to do with Mel

  3. Some written languages, particularly very old ones, incoporate pictograms. Is Hebrew one such language by any chance. I’m not suggesting Chai means “moose” in Hebrew (at least I assume it doesn’t).

    1. “Some written languages, particularly very old ones, incoporate pictograms. Is Hebrew one such language by any chance.”

      No, Hebrew writing is alphabetic, or more accurately an abjad, meaning a consonant script where vowels are left implicit (for example, if you write down “Pentium” in Hebrew letters, like this: ??????, you could just as well read it as “Fanatium”).

      The letters of the Hebrew alphabet are ultimately derived from Egyptian pictograms, like an ox head for aleph, house for bet, camel for gimel, door for dalet et cetera. But the word Hai (“alive”) is written with two letters, not one, and neither of these is derived from a pictogram for a moose. In fact, there’s no letter in any of the descendants of the Sinaitic or Phoenician alphabets that comes from a pictogram of a moose.

        1. LOL

          My favorite is those mouthwash containers with the words ?? ?? written on them. You can read them as mei pe, which means “mouthwash” (literally “water[s] of mouth,” a translation further complicated by the fact that “water” is always plural in Hebrew), or you can read them as mi po, which means “Who’s here?”

          There are advantages to a consonantal, vowel-implicit script, though. Without it, Ben Gurion’s classic “Oom Shmoom” wouldn’t be possible (it’s based on reading ??”?, the abbrevation of the Hebrew for “United Nations,” as if it were a normal world).

  4. Hyper Uber Missing Brain Leftist

    This is because the Jews illegally occupy the Native American homeland. Death to America All Hail Chomsky!

  5. Could not be Navajo. They are too far south for Moose.

    Reminds me of people who get those chinese tattoos which they think says something like “love sprirt” only it really says “I love General Tzo’s chicken”

  6. There was a stripper working in Sydney who had a Hebrew tattoo on her butt-cheeks. She was a Jewish girl from England and whilst her Hebrew was non-existent, she said it means princess. That would be ?????(Nessika)

    I had a lot of fun pointing out that:
    a) Tattooing “princess” on your butt does not make you one, and
    b) The letters had actually run together due to a poor tattoo and read ???? tattoo which means “infuse”. Not something you want written on your tuches.

    1. “Tattooing ‘princess’ on your butt does not make you one”

      A Jewish princess (read: all the girls in our tribe—bnot melekh are they) shouldn’t be doing any tattoo anywhere on her body. It’s asur mide’oraita, in Leviticus 19:28. All permanent body modifications except male circumcision are forbidden.

      “The letters had actually run together due to a poor tattoo and read ???? tattoo which means ‘infuse’. Not something you want written on your tuches.”

      Could be worse. Check out one attempt at Hebrew signage on the part of the usual anti-Zionist suspects.

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