A Hanukkah Song for IfNotNow

Seeing IfNotNow post a Hanukkah greeting from Rashida Tlaib (D-Ramallah) was confusing on multiple levels. I’m sure Tlaib doesn’t know that Hanukkah is the most Zionist of our religious holidays, but I guess INN doesn’t understand it either. No surprise there, because they are the very model of a modern Hellenistic Jew. Hmmm, maybe I can send them an appropriate Hanukkah gift…

(in case you don’t know the tune)

1/I am the very model of a modern Hellenistic Jew

My Christmas tree looks very pretty; all the ornaments are new

On Hanukkah I eat latkes

With sour cream, and bacon too

I am the very model of a modern Hellenistic Jew.

2/In politics I always support Amo Bernie’s policies

It really wouldn’t bother me if Israel was brought to its knees

If the wokesters don’t accept me

I’ll be deeply ill at ease

A Hellenistic Jew like me lives in a world of fantasies

3/ Were I living in Judea in the Hasmonean times

I would have helped the soldiers of Antiochus commit their crimes

But if the Maccabees would find me

Then I would have had to flee

Because a Hellenistic Jew is not who Judah wants to see.

Happy Hanukkah! (except to the anti-Zionists)


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