With the ongoing slow death of a ridonkulous business model consolidation of online Jewish media, the venerable news site The Forward has hit upon a brilliant way to cut costs while still maintaining core brand identity: their web page now sends you directly to Linda Sarsour’s Twitter feed. Ms. Sarsour, noted feminist and Sharia advocate, has featured so prominently in the Forward as of late that it just made sense to cut out the middleman and bring Linda’s woke tweets directly to the Forward’s woke audience. The Daily Freier took a stroll around Park Slope, Brooklyn in order to get all of the facts from The Forward’s key demographic: Lefty Jews in a constant state of Checking their Privilege.
“To tell you the truth, I didn’t even notice the change for the first three days.” admitted Ethan, an earnest young person wearing a t-shirt that said “#Resistance“. “I mean, I kept seeing the usual sick burns on the Netanyahu regime, the Trump police state, and Ayaan Hirsi Ali. I guess I only figured it out when they kept posting shout-outs to Colin Kapaernik.”
“I honestly don’t know what the big deal is.” complained Miriam, as she canvassed for New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio’s re-election. “I mean, Linda just compared Zionism to White Supremacy and Neo-Nazis. So what? At the Forward that used to be called ‘Tuesdays’….So like whatever.” Miriam then attempted to cross a busy street before jumping back as a car sped past. “That idiot didn’t even stop for me! This intersection is so…so….Intersectional!”
Word in the industry says that UK Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is closely watching the Forward’s new venture, and may substitute Labour’s web page with a blog written by Roger Waters.
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