Cake Or Death?
Islamic Jihad leader Khader Adnan is No Boy Scout. Below is but one of the many instances where Adnan was identified as an Islamic Jihad leader, senior figure, or spokesman:
The Islamic Jihad Movement issued a press release stating that soldiers broke into the home of Sheikh Khader Adnan, a political leader of the movement…
And yet, according to the predictably supportive-of-Jew-killing-terrorists Red-Green Alliance, he didn’t need to be a boy scout since he is a baker, which is apparently just as noble.
So…is that all it takes, then? As long as you have some kind of profession, you’re immune from the repercussions that come from being the leader of a terrorist organization? Or is it just purveyors of pita and pastry?
Well, let’s take this latest useful idiot theory out for a test drive, by checking out some of other infamous terrorists, broken out by profession:
- Fathi Shaqaqi – Islamic Jihad – Physician
- Abdel Aziz al-RantissiRantissi – Hamas – Physician
- Mahmoud al-Zahar – Hamas – Physician
- Ayman al-Zawahiri – Al-Qaeda – Surgeon
- George Habash – PFLP – Physician
- Bashar al-Assad – The Butcher of Damascus – Opthalmologist
- Bilal Abdullah – SJS (Sudden Jihad Syndrome) – Physician
- Dalal Mughrabi – PLO/Fatah – Nurse
- Wafa Idris – Fatah/Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade – Red Crescent Society Medic
Whoa, big group. I think all y’all forgot about the obscure don’t-be-a-murderer clause of the Hippocratic Oath.
Oh by the way, will the last one who still thinks terrorism is the result of poverty please turn out the lights?
- Ismail Haniyeh – Hamas – College Dean
- Ramadan Shallah – Islamic Jihad – Professor of Banking & Economics (brought to US by Islamic Jihad financier and fellow academic Sami Al-Arian).
- Marwan Barghouti – Fatah/Tanzim/Al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades – Masters in International Relations
- Amjad Awad – PFLP – University Student
Science & Engineering
- Yasser Arafat – PLO/Fatah – Civil Engineer
- Khaled Mashal – Hamas – Degree in Physics
- Yahya Ayyash – Hamas – Degree in Electrical Engineering
- Sheikh Ahmed Yassin – Hamas – Spiritual Leader
- Sheikh Odeh/Abd Al Aziz Awda – Islamic Jihad – Spiritual Leader
- Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah – Hezbollah – Spiritual Leader
- Khader Adnan – Islamic Jihad – Baker
The man of the hour. So which is it, Khader, cake or death?
Hey, I wonder if Khader bakes black & white cookies? I’m told they can create peace on earth, which I’m sure is all this humble baker really wants out of life. Look to the cookie, Khader. Look to the cookie.
BREAKING: According to the Wikipedia entry, Adnan sells not only baked goods, but also produce. Holy crap! He’s a greengrocer, too? How could a man who stands behind his fruit possibly be a terrorist? WE ARE ALL BAKER/GREENGROCER/ALL-AROUND SWELL GUY KHADER ADNAN!
Beauty School Dropout
- Samir Kuntar – PLF/Hezbollah – Dropped out of school at age 14. Well, there’s always one murderous scumbag in every bunch who brings down the curve for the rest. Poor, stupid Samir.
Well, I’m convinced. Simply having a job really does seem to make these terrorists so much kindler and/or gentler.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to start a multi-state crime spree. Better make sure I bring enough business cards.
(h/t @HarelDan on Twitter)
UPDATE: Relevant video: “Khader Adnan: Leader of Islamic jihad or innocent baker?”