Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
At least according to Sudanese journalist Mus’ab Al-Mosharraf, who has written on the well-known and popular liberal Arabic website Elaph that macaque monkeys are descended from the Jews.
“It Is Indisputable That There Are Monkeys Of Jewish Origin”
“The black macaque is in danger of extinction due to hunting and due to loss of its natural habitat. These monkeys are found in the islands of Southeast Asia, such as Malaysia and Indonesia; silver macaques live in the Far East, including in China and Japan. Macaques are friendly and pleasant, and are very similar to humans. Some believe that they are the offspring of their Jewish forefathers whom Allah transformed into monkeys.
“It is indisputable that there are monkeys of Jewish origin; none deny this but those who do not believe in the Koran that Allah brought down to Muhammad. Allah said of these monkeys of Jewish descent: “And you had already known about those who transgressed among you concerning the Sabbath, and we said to them ‘be apes, despised.’ And we made it a deterrent punishment for those who were present and those who succeeded [them] and a lesson for those who fear Allah’ (Koran 2: 65-66).
“[According] to the [Koranic] story, Allah forbade the Jews to work on the Sabbath. [It tells of] one village of Jews where they fished for a living. The fish would appear in multitudes on the Sabbath, and vanish on Sunday. These Jews felt sorrow and anger, and, against Allah’s commandment, devised a scheme whereby they would imprison the fish in netting on the Sabbath without drawing them out of the water, and at dawn on Sunday they would pull them out. Several of their prophets prohibited them from doing this, but they were undeterred, as was their custom. [For this reason,] Allah punished them and transformed them into monkeys.
“The rest of the Jews [who did not violate Allah’s directive and were not transformed into monkeys] did not want to live near [the Jews who had been transformed into monkeys] and banished them to the mountains. The [Jews who had become monkeys] continued to multiply, and were finally forced to disperse throughout the world. It seems that they chose to settle in the countries of Southeast Asia and the Far East, as can be seen today.
“What is interesting is that there are two species of macaque – black and silver. This corresponds to the two types of Jews, of two [skin] colors: the Ashkenazis, of European origin, and the Sephardis, of Asian origin.
“It is noteworthy that [Charles] Darwin ([who was] of Jewish descent) kept the world preoccupied for a long time with his theory that man is descended from apes. Apparently, he arrived at this assumption from his study [of] the history of some of his forefathers amongst the Jewish monkeys.
“The problem of the macaque is that the Hindus and Buddhists of Southeast Asia and the Far East hunt them for food, and make folk medicines from them. What is astonishing and amazing is that most of the countries where there are increasing numbers of macaques are Islamic countries…
“It is known that Jews always feel comfortable with and prefer to live, reside, and settle amongst the Islamic peoples, because they feel secure among them… The proliferation of the Jews in Spain, and later in the kingdom of Morocco, and currently in Palestine provides good proof of this factual observation.
“It should be noted that that the Jews were subjected to isolation and degradation throughout all of Europe, and particularly by the Nazis in Germany under Adolf Hitler’s leadership. Today, macaques have received some attention and interest, because people fear that they could become extinct.
“On Sulawesi Island in Indonesia, a photographer took several photos of them, and was surprised to learn that these monkeys have a happy family life, just like humans. He was also surprised to see that they behave like humans when asked to stand or sit so that they can be photographed. These monkeys are astoundingly adept at posing for the camera.
“It may be superfluous to say that the film industry, and the talent of posing for the camera, are the preserve of the Jews. Most of the groundbreaking film actors and actresses, in [both] Hollywood and Paris, were and still are of Jewish origin.”
Truly brilliant. It is hard to argue with such impeccable logic. Alas, I will give it a go, albeit with my rather primative brain capacity.
Firstly, everyone knows we are actually shape-shifters. So even if we had been cursed and turned into monkeys, we could easily have turned ourselves back to a better looking creature. Such as a leopard. Or Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie.
Secondly. if our forefathers were indeed monkeys, how do you explain all of our achievements? Face it: the only Nobel Prize winner who resembles a base, low-intellect creature is this guy. And I’m pretty sure he was not Jewish (although many of his best fiends were).
Thirdly, if a lynchpin of your argument is resemblance, I’ll just leave this out there:
Similarly, arguing that “the talent of posing for the camera, are the preserve of the Jews” ignores the talents of the likes of Ahmed Angel..
And Omar Borkan Al Gala.
And finally, a strong case can be made that Jews do not “always feel comfortable with and prefer to live, reside, and settle amongst the Islamic peoples.” Trust me on this.
